I'm currently working through a wonderful book called The Journey from Heartbreak to Connection: A Workshop in Abandonment Recovery. It's by Susan Anderson. She has a website, abandonment.net
Some of this is for people who are already divorced, but I've found things helpful for the separated too. She has some great stuff on the stages of coping. I've realized this summer that family issues that go way back to my childhood make abandonment one of the problems in my marriage, not just now during the separation. This is my problem to work on, and I'm doing so. It's very painful, but it's also empowering. I need to do this for me. Whether I get my WAW back remains to be seen, but I think we reach a healthy point when we start to focus on our own flaws and work to improve them. We also reach a healthy point when we honestly face our partner's flaws too. As Michele says, our problems are in the way we interact with our spouse, not just in one of us.
Take care and do something nice for yourself today, no matter how small.
