Well, my H did not go to work again today. He's been in trouble in the past for missing too much work so I'm wondering how he's taking time off now.
I know I shouldn't be worried about him or what he does, but part of me thinks he has to hit rock bottom before he sees the reality of what he's doing. I don't want him to loose his job, but I do want him to wake up.
I've got to work on my PMA. This R is consuming me right now.
Second, I don't think I've made much progress with my H, but I'm still working on things. We talked yesterday and he sounded worried, I asked him what was wrong and he said he didn't know the future of his group at work. He mentioned talking to another dept to see if he could switch over if his group didn't get any new work. I told him that I'd been praying about this and what would happen if he were to be laid off. I offered to support him if he wanted to go back to school full time and get a different degree. I told him I hope that it didn't sound like a bribe but I wasn't trying to come across like that. I just wanted him to know my level of committment (sp?) and that I wanted him to be happy. He said to let him see what happens when he talks to the other group about a job. I said the offer stood regardless of another job offer b/c I knew he wasn't happy in his field. I also said it didn't have to happen now b/c classes have already begun and he may have to wait until next year. I don't know if that was the right thing to do but it was something that I'd been praying about for a while and it seemed like a relevent time to bring it up since he was stressed over his job. Who knows.
Nothing to report really. H did switch groups at work, and seems happy with the change. He did admit to saying ILY to OW, but I didn't carry the conversation any further, I was way too emotional and was breaking alot of DB rules. So, I'm basically still in the same place I was in Jan with him. I'm getting very discouraged and a little depressed by the situation. I'm trying to focus on myself and the girls, but it's so hard with this looming over my head. I pray daily that I can either work this out with him, or let it go. I know it takes time, and that I'm being impatient. The thing that breaks my heart the most is knowing that he is happier with someone else.
One small thing did happen after I posted this. I don't know why I did this, but I called him up and asked him if he was still against MC (i hadn't brought it up since the S). He said he didn't know, that it was too soon, before he'd flat out said no. I'm not jumping for joy, but it's a baby step...right?
Yes, it is. Just dont push now. You got it out there and good for you, it is sort of up to him to take it to the next level. If he doesnt, there will be a time and place to pop that back into a convo, just not anytime soon me thinks.
C
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
I had a pretty stressful weekend. My best friend's daughter had some drama (won't go into that) and the girl's had some issues with their father and fiancee while they were at his house. Needless to say it was far from a relaxing weekend. I did have quite a bit of interaction with my H. I didn't do very well b/c I was really emotional about the other stuff, but he didn't act cold or angry. He came over yesterday to put the mirror up on my dresser, and D10 ran to the door, yelled his name and hugged him. Then she asked him to stay for dinner (he didn't but promised her he would). He also prayed with me before he left and asked me for a hug.
If anyone reading this thread prays, please pray for my family. Thank you.
I was just reading something about how to stop yourself from dwelling on bad thoughts. To visulize a stop sign, a big flashing stop sign when you start thinking about things you have no control over. I was just sitting here singing this song that I've loved for a long time..I forgot the title but there's a part that says "if you could only see the way she loves me then maybe you will understand, why I feel this way about our love and what I must do. If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says..when she says she loves me"...and I just had a wave of anxiety run through my body. OW has the most beautiful blue eyes, they are really striking and I just thought what if H thinks that way about her. Then I popped up my big blinking stop sign...still visualizing the stop sign and trying not to think of her.
Does anyone else have this problem or am I just a maniac?
