I just came home from my "night out" which I spent at my own bar (first night this week, not working) As I will be working tomorrow night, I thought it was a good idea to get back to things on the other side of the bar. Everything was fine till some friends who heard about our separation came in. As soon as they hugged me, I fell into tears. And I can't stop crying till now. It feels so good to have friends. But it feels bad to realize having neglected them while the R.
I know his is with this OP. And that does NOT make things a lot easier.
And I get so angry with myself - having known about DBing for 8 years now and NOT having discovered my doing "all of the same" during this past one year with H....
But maybe being together from morning till nighttime on ALL levels was taking my view off the important things... being financially so dependent - I have never experienced this in my life before.... And he just DID NOT TALK.... I got so involved in solving HIS problems - especially, when he started drinking so much in the past weeks.... that I forgot about mine...
My BIG hope is - and I know that I can tell it here, but everybody who has never been DBing won't understand and would tell me to "let go"... My BIG hope is, that we will be spending so much time together, that she'll say: Forget about it.
He will be: -Babysitting my daughter one to two times a week - going Squashing with me one time a week - seing me everyday - regarding the common business and: I told him if he EVER shows up with her in our place, he can forget about EVERYTHING. (was that to tough? IIIIIII don't think so....) But as our place is THE place where he spends most of his time and she will not be able to see him there, I think THAT already will kind of make a LACK in their relationship.
On top of that, his entire (big) family is so sorry for what happened, that it will be more than HARD for him to introduce her - if it should ever come to that point....
So basically I see my chances in the further possibility of seing him regularly and doing a nice and slow 180....
