I do agree with you that it is a decision to answerer or not. But... Telling your spouse not to answer will get you nowhere. They need to be the one to decide otherwise they will always have that "what if" thing going on in their mind. I did not check to see if my W was or is still calling the OM this is my decision So I decided if I got hurt or not.
Husband
I'll tell you the thing that really bothers me about this: prodigal's husband was doing what he thought would give his marriage the best chance, NOT what he wanted. Unfortunately, Prodigal is now using this poor guy's kindness against him via a perverse justification that 'my husband wanted me to do it'. It should be obvious that 99.99% of victims of infidelity would be hurt by continued contact with OM/OW. Prodigal is conveniently ignoring this fact because it serves her purpose. She can try and discredit me to her heart's content, but the bottom line is that she is one that deliberately hurt her husband, not me.
