Oh - would anyone recommend acupuncture for the yin/yang balancing? I did it years ago for a female medical issue with much success... wondering if I can help program my energies to be more receiving sexually and more nurturing/lovey-dovey in general.
It may be helpful to share the one thing (not related to me sexlife) that I am recently revisiting (tho its practicality is slightly alluding me) which is to go to medical school. I always wanted to be a doctor (surgeon - any/plastic), but pulled out just after taking mcats (and getting adaquate scores to get in somewhere but not stanford/ucla/duke which were my choices) because I had an accident that forced me to be a patient, and I got scared off by the doctors dissuading me from the bleak hmo-ized future world of medicine (and I knew the most important thing to me was to raise kids eventually). The reason I bring this up is that I love humanity and I love to help people in a scientific and pragmatic way. But as much as I like medicine, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to be a nurse or a tech or an administrator because as doctors have been pegged many a time, it's the "person in the power seat" that I aspire to be. Not sure why I'm throwing this out there, but felt compelled... maybe it will help someone shed a bit more light on how I can best move forward with my love life.
thanks again!
Last edited by loonyqt; 08/30/0702:49 AM.
36 y/o HD in committed monogomous relationship for 15 years (at least on my end, assumed on his as well) 2 children, 6.5 dd & 5 ds
It's always amazing to me when men reveal how little they know about their brethren
Yeah I agree. Its sad. There is very little healthy masculine support and encouragement. I am still occasionally taken aback or surprised [internally only] when I extract info about previous R's from my consorts. Like the spider and the vacuum cleaner story. I was like.... HUH??!!! I kept saying...'your kidding me'. I cant fathom it.
Men dont talk to each other about this stuff. There is no sweat lodge, no initiation, no rite of passage. I remember when I was in my late teen's and my friends gf's would come and try to talk to me about ...stuff. *head shake* and then found out what happens when you try to help them.... *head shake*
wait-- were you talking about me?
There is no such thing as a man who is all "wolf" Did someone say there was? I believe your initial model consisted of a square made up of 4 squares. Therefore integration would be maintaining love and desire 4 OP, across all 4 areas. Seeing their faults and loving them still. Women who are dealing with M/W have husbands who have not integrated desire. It is a nueral connection issue. It can be overcome, the guy just has to want to. and then stroke that nueral pathway.
I have found a way to end a sexual R with a woman and have her continue to think of me as a good friend. So far it has worked everytime. I dont even have to give an explanation, they just cant/dont want to continue it. Thanks to you :-P I had to stop using the 'do nothing' tactic. and that is a sincere thanks. This one is much better for everyone. I dont lose respect and they dont act self destructive. If I find one it doesnt work on, it may actually increase my respect. win/win. I use the lack of integration to DoNoHarm.
However, there is no straight-forward dichotomy of stay with whatever animal she loves in her H vs. go find a wolf In the future, I will try and list all the other possible archetypes, if it makes you feel better. Since its your creation, I would appreciate a concise list of them, along with their position on the four squares. If you like I will provide a footnote. I would hate for my meaning to be unclear for lack of listing lion/shark/stallion along with wolf.
I don't think she should try to control her H but I think that she is confused about what she wants and that is why she is here seeking our assistance.
Yep I agree. The confusion is pretty predictably tracible. Incongruence leaks.
If she [they] gains self-awareness she will change
Yep. The question is... what do they do with that self awareness. Most people use limited self awareness to strengthen their - 'Thats what I want' entitlement- rather then actually assisting there SO up. The funny thing about self aware people is that they are JUST as subject to biology as everyone else. They just rationalize it better. It doesnt matter how well you understand, we are still beholden to it. Understanding it in infintesimal detail, even obtaining mastery of your portion, doesnt make you happy/ier.
It only matters -what you do. If you do 'The right thing' a person can find happiness, from self approval, courage, pride. maybe even serenity, and tranquility. If a person doesnt, you can only hide or try to mask the depression. Karma is a bit#h. But a fair b#tch.
Of course if LQ went out into the world looking for a "wolf" she could find one in most men she encountered because she would be sending out the appropriate signal.
I disagree. She would definitely find one but not 'in most men', because very few are willing to live without emotion. Nobody 'wants' to only be wanted for sex. If it were most men you wouldnt be asking me where to find one. BTW, I still think you found what you need right now. When you feel nihilistic, your not listening to your self. Of course NG is ML to you. I wonder if he can 'hear' that you arent ML to him, but Im not really concerned. I want to say I dont care if he can, but it comes across wrong.
There is no such thing as a man who is all "wolf" Did someone say there was? I believe your initial model consisted of a square made up of 4 squares. Therefore integration would be maintaining love and desire 4 OP, across all 4 areas. Seeing their faults and loving them still. Women who are dealing with M/W have husbands who have not integrated desire. It is a nueral connection issue. It can be overcome, the guy just has to want to. and then stroke that nueral pathway.
I agree with you.
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I have found a way to end a sexual R with a woman and have her continue to think of me as a good friend. So far it has worked everytime. I dont even have to give an explanation, they just cant/dont want to continue it. Thanks to you :-P I had to stop using the 'do nothing' tactic. and that is a sincere thanks. This one is much better for everyone. I dont lose respect and they dont act self destructive. If I find one it doesnt work on, it may actually increase my respect. win/win. I use the lack of integration to DoNoHarm.
I must say I am intrigued. Does it involve wearing bright white shoes that are a size too big?
Quote:
Of course if LQ went out into the world looking for a "wolf" she could find one in most men she encountered because she would be sending out the appropriate signal.
I disagree. She would definitely find one but not 'in most men', because very few are willing to live without emotion. Nobody 'wants' to only be wanted for sex. If it were most men you wouldnt be asking me where to find one.
I meant that most or all men have some wolf in them, not that most men are mostly wolf. I don't believe that at all. If LQ went out looking for a wolf, she would find the wolf part of some man.
Quote:
BTW, I still think you found what you need right now. When you feel nihilistic, your not listening to your self. Of course NG is ML to you. I wonder if he can 'hear' that you arent ML to him, but Im not really concerned. I want to say I dont care if he can, but it comes across wrong.
and I worry about that. alot. \:\)
I really wish you weren't so cryptic. Maybe you're half right or maybe you're all right but just looking at it from the opposite perspective. Anyway, my bunny is all bundled up safe in a chicken suit covered up with a monkey suit (No this isn't entirely true because I'm sometimes bold if not brave). So NG gets two monkeys for the price of one! If I was him I'd be kind of sick of it. Anyway, I appreciate what I think you mean when you say you "don't care if he can."
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
I found a cheapie (read free) quickie version of the eneagram and given that it says that your personality is likely to be one of the 3 top scoring ones. Based on the descriptions, I think I'm a 7. Interesting.
Thanks for the link. This indicates I am probably a type 3 Type 1: 4 Type 2: 5 Type 3: 8 Type 4: 3 Type 5: 4 Type 6: 6 Type 7: 1 Type 8: 0 Type 9: 5
A couple of questions would have been better answered with either a "neither" or "both". Reading the type descriptions, it sounds like this was reasonably accurate.
I knew you were a Type 7 dopamine addict. Welcome to the club! Actually, you remind me much more of Honeypot, another Type 7 HDW than me. You might want to check out her posts from the past. I tend to be a crybaby and you and Honeypot tend more towards anger so her experience might be more enlightening for you.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
It's interesting, on the eneagram institute website, there is a section talking about potential for addition, and 7s are the worst of the lot. Consciously, even tho I am a product of the 80s, I've never done coke because all the descriptions I've read made it sound like way too much fun for me.
Happy weekend, people.
36 y/o HD in committed monogomous relationship for 15 years (at least on my end, assumed on his as well) 2 children, 6.5 dd & 5 ds
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