Chrome, I think you may be right. I kind of put the signalling of attraction into a mold of how I would do it. So, I suppose in order to derive validation from attraction of others, I would need to learn the signs, huh?
Mojo, OK, not so much trying to hard, but trying to desperately then? Looking back on my youth, I can see why I wasn't so attractive then, and it had nothing to do with my physical attributes.
Two of the usual signs are proximity and a need to physically touch you. If you're walking around and you are constantly noticing the same woman near you in your field of view, chances are ...
Or if she stops talking and just smiles at you. Actually, my very first boyfriend pointed out that I have a dead giveaway signal. I cross my legs and wiggle my foot in your direction. If I'm wearing a shoe that comes off, I'll dangle it.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
FWIW, I was at the gym with S. today and lingeringly checked out at least three guys of varying ages .... I would be amazed if any of them were aware of it...
Beyond the strictly physical/fitness aspects, I find men who exhibit passion for their interests and who exude confidence without slipping over the lines into narcissism or arrogance to be very attractive ...
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
Two of the usual signs are proximity and a need to physically touch you. If you're walking around and you are constantly noticing the same woman near you in your field of view, chances are ...
Or if she stops talking and just smiles at you. Actually, my very first boyfriend pointed out that I have a dead giveaway signal. I cross my legs and wiggle my foot in your direction. If I'm wearing a shoe that comes off, I'll dangle it.
Ok, so were we separated at birth or what?
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
Absolutely. If she is ever talking to you and just stops in mid-sentence and smiles while making direct eye contact ... bingo.
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I cross my legs and wiggle my foot in your direction. If I'm wearing a shoe that comes off, I'll dangle it.
ROFL, that is definitely one of the ones that many women are not aware of and is more common that you might think. Maybe a subconscious urge to do that foot rubbing up and down the leg thing that women do so well when in heavy petting mode.
One thing I meant to run by blackfoot to get his opinion on is women making an over-the top effort to get the man to notice their "best part." And its not just that, they want to notice you noticing it, and you to notice that they notice, if that makes any sense. Anyway, I could be wrong about that one.
Of course, for every woman who shows signs, there could be many others that don't for a variety of reasons. And I can tell you for sure, that giving off a married vibe usually doesn't stop the signs of attraction, only how far she will act on it. Remember, attraction is a feeling, not a choice. How you act on it is the choice.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
OK, not so much trying to hard, but trying to desperately then? Looking back on my youth, I can see why I wasn't so attractive then, and it had nothing to do with my physical attributes.
I would say that being persistent or showing steady intent would be good but, as you said, being desperate would be unattractive. Maybe there's some masculine equivalent to the expression "Don't play hard to get. Be hard to get." which is one of the femininity mantras I'm trying to understand (sigh.)
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Beyond the strictly physical/fitness aspects, I find men who exhibit passion for their interests and who exude confidence without slipping over the lines into narcissism or arrogance to be very attractive ...
I am curious. Can you give an example of one and the other?
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FWIW, I was at the gym with S. today and lingeringly checked out at least three guys of varying ages .... I would be amazed if any of them were aware of it...
Yeah, us guys are such poor dumb saps.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
Beyond the strictly physical/fitness aspects, I find men who exhibit passion for their interests and who exude confidence without slipping over the lines into narcissism or arrogance to be very attractive ...
Definitely. One rather cynical dating book I read said that men look first for "looks" and women look first for "money" but I'll cut my fellow females some slack and say that women look for "lifestyle" or maybe what Deida calls "purpose." Women have certain "types" in that regard also. I'm not attracted to any man who signals Republican, conservative Christian, golf, sports bar, suburban tract house with wall-to-wall carpeting, fast food, World's Funniest Videos etc. Monkey-girl is so bored and scratchy with that guy she is crying. I would have to become an alcoholic if I found myself married to that guy.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
