Both, for her to show some interest in my world, be that the job, what I do playing sports, what movies I’d like to see, etc. Interaction. What I don’t want is her stressing and telling what I should or shouldn’t do regarding work, but I would like a little respect from her in TRYING to understand what I do and how I do it, not to force her to become interested in some new field but to show that she wants to share my experiences. You know, the ole enmeshment stuff.
All of this is NOT what you said initially. All of a sudden, it appears to me, you have a changing of the rules... if not a changing, then a much more in depth condition of your rules than stated earlier. Had I not asked and probed, I'm not sure I would have gotten it, and I may very well find myself floundering as your wife does. For there is no telling when you might hit a mine field with you... given lack of info. I wouldn't walk into that field either. I may have faith, but I don't have blind faith. If that is a req., sorry, but, personally, I would move on. And... quite frankly, I did.
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That’s partly it. The boundary issue comes into play here because she might not like the way I handled something, she might not like one of the girls/women at work, so she gets too reactive and I become defensive. Rather not deal with it.
Bulsh!t. Boundary issues don't come into play if OTHER doesn't KNOW the boundary. You keep moving the line, and what's more, you don't even bother to define the line for the five minutes you decide to lay it down. Which keeps you in power.
Do you remember when you said to me... one's who regain power can often take advantage of it and seek retribution? I'm not so sure SHE is the one doing that, for YOU, in most of your posts, will claim a revival of power. The fact that you are NOT willing to be pinned down is indicative to me that YOU are the one who is abusing power here.... maybe.
[quote}Sure, I know this. I have also accepted it as a reasonable “price” to pay.[/quote]
Then as a decent human, stop your quest of blood letting. If not, you are no more than a Nazi. You blame your actions on the ideal. That is NOT an excuse... and I won't buy it. Neither does your wife, and that is why she continues to withdraw. She has a very, very valid reason for withdrawing.
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What she really means is that I am not supposed to have the right to interfere or take command of family matters.
Bllsht. That is YOUR interpretation. Maybe based on past activity, based, again, on YOUR perceptions. YOU have given little to change. She has done... insofar as I understand her through you... as much as she is willing to change... BEFORE she sees willing and VULNERABLE changes within you.
Otherwise, based on HER experience of YOU, it would be outright LUNACY for her to do more.
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…and if I do get close to exposing this... YOU will deflect again, and go on and give me yet another reason why you can't consider changing YOUR behavior.
