There and Back, #4

[SallyM]

ugh...can I just say the stressers never end??? just called to say goodnight to the kids and h got on the phone...said he had something to talk to me about that he didn't get a chance to earlier. yep, that sinking awful punch-to-the-gut feeling took a hold on me. it wasn't what I thought it was...apparently, the new job that he just started on monday is not what he thought it would be, and it is not a good fit for him at all. he's already talked to his old boss and head of hr about getting his old job back. so I wonder if part of the crap he pulled this week had to do with the fact that he was so stressed about the mistake he made job-wise? obviously there is more to it than that, ow is still alive and well and very much in the picture, but wonder if some of the aggressiveness with me was because of this? he took it out on me (hey, I'm his current whipping boy *girl* after all).

sooooo stressed now. its hard because he's the breadwinner. he admitted that he was only seeing $$$ when he took this job. so actually going back to his old job would mean less $ for me if/when we divorce. at the same time, I know he will be a wreck with this one, so it won't end up lasting. at least his old company is a great one to work for. so I guess I'm hoping he gets the job back.

of course, he's now got this very expensive car to pay for. so we're taking a bath if he does get his old job back one way or another, unless there is some stipulation somewhere that allows you to return a car that you recently bought. I don't think there is, though, is there? other than a lemon law?

arrrrgggggghhhhh

I knew this job was a bad decision. I knew it was. anytime I tried to talk to him, to raise some questions here and there, that would make him really think about it, not just see $$$, he got angry with me, so I stopped. I'm not taking the blame, just irritated because, oh, here's yet another decision he has made that is screwing me in some way or other.

but I really do hope he can get his old job back. I told him it was great what he did, that it took a lot of balls to recognize the mistake and admit it this quickly. its not easy to ask for your old company to take you back. who knows, maybe they will...at least he didn't go to a competitor or anything like that.

and no, I'm not missing the irony. H realized really quickly just what he lost by leaving his old company, and what a mistake it was. exactly what he didn't realize by leaving me. ah, well, so it goes.