DONNA--finding herself #15

[Dom R]

Hi Donna,

sorry about your shock relevation.
like someone said though.. either way, he's still an adulterer and a liar. so dont let it get to you.

Speaking of "getting to you",though..

your friend sounds like a minor variation on a WAW. Yet you seem to almost idolize her.
If you're looking for people to tell you "divorce the bum", then I'm sure you'll have no difficulty finding them. We often find exactly what we choose to look for.

You comment on your imagining that people have been "placed in your path for a purpose". I think it's more accurate that we draw out from people, what we are looking for, ourselves.

In my opinion, your friend suffered through a great deal.. but still took the easy way out, while giving the appearance of "doing the right thing".

Why do I say this?


"She even offered a temp sep if he went to counseling. He asked if she could guarentee that they would get back together. She said no, so he said no."

it is a very natural thing for someone (especially men) to ask for some kind of guarantee of "If I do all this hard work, will I actually see a 'return on my investment'?"

She COULD have said, "Well, I guarantee that if you actually DO all the things the counsellor suggests, then we will get back together". But she chose not to. I'm guessing that she was just as afraid of facing the possibility of a reformed husband and having to forgive him, as he was of doing all the work for nothing.

I dont think your friend should be admired for that.

Speaking as a man, I can almost "guarantee" that if she had responded as i mentioned above, that her husband would have gone to counselling.
As a woman, you may not believe that. But as a man, I can assure you otherwise. A man doesnt ask that kind of question unless he's thinking like that.