Just going to jump in here with a quick pre-Labor day drive by (not really pulling a BK...just that i won't be back on here over the long weekend)
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I don't think it is not possible to save our M. I just think it is a long shot, primarily because my W has lots to understand/accept/do, and at this point she doesn't know what she doesn't know and she doesn't seem willing to work on it anywhere near as much as I would like.
Just a little food for thought generated by this statement. i preface this with saying that obviously you know your own sitch better than anyone.
That being said, maybe it's partly just looking at your sitch relative to so many on here, maybe it's partly projection on my part (and wishful thinking that my H would go to either MC or IC), but I have always seen your W's willingness to go and seemingly active participation in the beginnings of some hard work that it sounds like you've done in MC and the fact that she's willing to go on her own to this great counselor who clearly is working on the side of resurrecting your marriage as an indication that she is trying to figure this all out, too.
Maybe not nearly as much as you would like, not yet, and maybe she never will, and ultimately that will not be acceptable to you, but i just guess looking from the outside in, don't let 'pusher nomo' rule the day... this is doubles we're all trying to play, not singles...
