Let's try this another way. Let's work backward from the end goal.
Imagine for a moment, that H stopped all porn viewing. In so doing, you have stopped his lying about it.
What would achieving that end goal do for you, that is not happening now?
This R/M will be a work in process until the day he and I both die. I think it would be naive of me to believe that one day, we will have accomplished 'it'. There will good days and there will be bad days. We will get some issues resolved and others will surface. With that being said, if H stopped the porn and therefore the lying, it would significantly improve our R. When H lied to me, I didn't know it was a lie at the time and I can tell you that I felt like he was making a HUGE statement to me. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted and for the first time I felt like I knew for sure we were gonna make it, we were on the right path. I literally cried, but he didn't realize it I don't think. Turns out it was a lie. So, here we are.
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
