Corri,

This stuff is making my head spin I started reading EQ (first 2 chapters), and while I see what he's saying I'm getting overwhelmed by it all.

Quote:

You get to decide when NG's validating and invalidating play a role in whether you continue on with him or not... or even IF those things have anything to do with you staying or not. The fact that you HAVE A CHOICE AT ALL is what is empowering (I think, anyway).

This is a bit of a stumbling block for me. If you are someone married and doing what they can to stay that way. If you are not getting your sexual validation from your partner, the choices you have all go against something in your make-up, so it is a matter of choosing the path that makes you least unhappy. I suppose this is where figuring out exactly what makes you happy and to what degree is necessary before you can map out a course? Help me out here, because I am getting hung up on this.

As to being happy-go-lucky, I am finding that is hard to maintain. I got turned down again last night and this morning. Handled it OK and cheerfully, but am having a hard time reconciling the feelings, and am feeling like I am stuffing the feelings rather than letting them flow out. Last night after she was making it very obvious that she was not interested, I pulled back, took stock of what I was feeling, which was mainly frustration, and just told her matter the factly that I was feeling frustrated and what had sparked that feeling. She didn't really want to discuss it, kind of shrugged it off which was a little hurtful in itself.

--a very confused GGB.