True and not true. What I have found to be true in the course of my dating-in-search-of-sexual-validation
You kind of proved my point, right there. You didn't find sexual-validation while married. You had to get out of your M and date to do it. And I am not saying that sexual validation was the reason your M ended... I'm just saying... you've been dating.
People who are IN their marriage don't have that option (well, technically).
You get to decide when NG's validating and invalidating play a role in whether you continue on with him or not... or even IF those things have anything to do with you staying or not. The fact that you HAVE A CHOICE AT ALL is what is empowering (I think, anyway).
How much of a choice did you feel you had in your M? How many people who are still in their M's feel they have a choice? Of the M's that HAVE improved on this board, how many got to that point out of choice?
That's my point, is all.
We all have a choice to manage our emotions. We all have a choice on whether we validate or invalidate our partners. We all have a choice when our partners validate or invalidate us.
When you don't know you have the choice, or if you cannot own your own power... you feel like you don't have a choice.
