Corri I understand that the book is important to you.
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"When someone validates us, we receive what we all yearn for: Acceptance, understanding, and a sense of connection"
What I get from what the little that I have read is that the acceptance, understanding and connection is with the "other". In that way it seems to me like that is the same as the what the cycle inside a fused relationship.
Well... a great deal of the impetus of the book is learning how to deal with your own emotions. The validation/invalidation section are examples of how we can validate/invalidate others.
If you want to change that, great, here's a way (and his reasons supporting why he thinks it) that you can do it.
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My view is that the acceptance,understanding and connection has to be with the self first.
So... your wife is completely self-validating right now?
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Right now the quote just seems like the bumper sticker on the codependent wagon to me. I will read the whole booklet and I will not comment more until I have a clearer idea.
