What I get from what the little that I have read is that the acceptance, understanding and connection is with the "other". In that way it seems to me like that is the same as the what the cycle inside a fused relationship.
I think you're right. But what exactly is wrong with that "other connection" if it makes us feel so good? IMO Nothing.
The problem is when one person decides to cut off the other-validation, which is why the idea of differentiation or self-validation is so important. You can't TRUST someone else to always be there for you. Sh*t happens. Other than that, what is so wrong with other-validation? (I am assuming that the person is not dependent on other-validation for his/her self esteem, to get an ego "fix" or something like that, ie, is not codependent.)
