Still searching for Home

[Heimlich]

Beer. Mexico. Yes, please.

I'll echo CVA (and my earlier comments), don't get back on her (not so) merry-go-round. You are doing wonderfully well.

However, I think Retrouvaille would be OK to suggest if she seems open when she talks to you. If she would go, how could it hurt? I can't see a downside.

BD

[Not Much Left]

OK, just a thought on that one. I really dont know the success rate or post visiting issues with going there so...

[Heimlich]

Just because I can't see a downside, doesn't mean there isn't one.

But I do think that potential good outweights potential bad, so long as it's her expressing interest first and not Atlas chasing.

BD

[Atlas]

Dropped S off this morning, we had a good night. I ended up letting him stay up since he wanted to wait by the window for mommy. I told him she was working and we would see her in the morning but he insisted on waiting. It's pretty said to see.

I opened my mouth with W this morning after she invited me in. She checks out the picnic and I rush the door. She did say she would come by this weekend and bring S so I could see him. That was nice. I'm pushing way too much for a commitment to work on the R and need to back off. W's attitude seems to have really mellowed and she seems pretty comfortable in front of me until we do talk and then I don't either of us are comfortable.

Well this weekend I have a friends coming into town and everyone is coming over, I think it will probably turn into a party by Saturday night. Should be a good time.

[Heimlich]

I'm pushing way too much for a commitment to work on the R and need to back off.

Amazing how this is such an easy to understand point, but so hard to do.

OK, Atlas, before you end up drawing up a D agreement -- stop it.

BD

[stewart10]

Atlas:

I opened my mouth with W this morning after she invited me in. She checks out the picnic and I rush the door. She did say she would come by this weekend and bring S so I could see him. That was nice. I'm pushing way too much for a commitment to work on the R and need to back off.

I'm with Heim on this one. But at least now you are able to identify when this occurs and stop it before it turns into something bad.

Well this weekend I have a friends coming into town and everyone is coming over, I think it will probably turn into a party by Saturday night. Should be a good time.

Have fun with this tomorrow. Use it as a time to try and take a step back from your W and give her some space.

Dropped S off this morning, we had a good night. I ended up letting him stay up since he wanted to wait by the window for mommy. I told him she was working and we would see her in the morning but he insisted on waiting. It's pretty said to see.

Everytime I read about your S having a hard time with this it really makes me sad. You are doing the right thing by him showing him the love that he deserves. Keep it up.

[Atlas]

Heim and Stew,

Thanks you guys, I agree but have lost my self control around her. I really need a 2x4 mentally and probably physically as well. It's so hard when I thought I was detaching and moving on, and I find that the feelings were right there all along. She means so much to me and I realize how much I have hurt her, I can't understand how she feels but I know it is deep. I haven't been able to show her love and affection in so long and all I want to do is hold her.

[Heimlich]

Atlas,
If it helps, I feel exactly the same way, with a twist. Somehow, I've gotten to the place that I still feel the love, but have accepted that I can't do anything directly to bring my W back now and have decided to live my life as if she's only going to be in it as someone I've shared good times with and as a co-parent.

It's almost like splitting your feelings in half or something. Hard to describe, but you'll get there.

Again, you know this, but let your W chase you. She knows how you feel. Stop bringing it up. Let her bring up the R and respond. I've a feeling that as time goes on, you'll be able to get to a place with her where you'll be able to bring things up, but that time isn't now. So, and I say this with love, shut up. Be her friend.

BD

[Atlas]

Well the weekend begins. Festivities and fun abound. It looks like the party is growing by the hour and probably be based out of my place. So it should be a good time.

Well W took S to an amusement park today, her B is in town. I don't see him until Tuesday but she said she would bring him by some time, I hope so I miss him and it would be nice to see W. Don't think I can talk anymore though, getting tired and worn down. Need to enjoy the weekend.

Everyone have a good one, check in on you later.

[NDDT]

Hey Atlas have a good weekend. Sounds like you are having your up and down days, just like I do, (all of us?) Have a good time at your party but dont get to stupid!! lol

G