You seem to be changing your story. Yesterday you were quitting, "With that being said, I think it's time to move on - without him." Today you are going to try counseling with him.
Levelling with someone to a point is not levelling with them. Blithely going along when you think someone is lying to your face is not authentic. You will not find the kind of R you want with anyone until you learn to be present and authentic in an R. I thought you might try to do that with H and see what happens. But apparently that is not to be.
You win. I agree. You have decided that counseling will not help. You have already ruled out possiblity (3). Get comfortable in your mom's world in which options (1) and (2) are the only options in any relationship, I expect you will be there awhile.
I am glad to hear that you are feeling less stuck in your life. I sincerely wish you the best. I wish you could bypass the stage of putting a lot of your intimacy problems on H, but it is probably not something that can be bypassed. I do hope you get to the other side of it. (And this has ZERO to do with whether or not your M ultimately succeeds, it has to do with what your ability to put your true self into an R go get what you so want from one.)
