Nomopo's Thread - Is something happening to me?

[Heimlich]

I do think about meeting someone new, and spending some quality time with someone else. That is very attractive to me right now. It has been a long time since someone showed any interest in me, has showed me any affection, and was intimate with me. And I know that there options/possibilities out there.

Two years!??!?!? It's been four months for me and I'm about to got out of my skin. You. Are. A. Saint.

Just a quick thought on detachment. A combo of things got me here. Most important, I think, was really understanding all I did to get my R to this point. Sure, my W made mistakes (beyond having the A). At the same time, I wasn't there for her to make her feel as special as she deserved to feel because I was so wrapped up in myself that I wasn't really giving to her -- or my girls -- on a consistent basis. The love was inside of me, but it wasn't getting out. I finally fully felt that my R with my W is over. We might get to a new one, but the one we had is dead. I knew that, but didn't feel it. The practicality of going through D mediation made it very real. Once there, I realized that it didn't mean the end -- I have a year before it's final. Who knows what may happen? Some combo of these things just finally gelled in my mind and it was like, "OK, it really is over and these are the things that I can do that MAY/MIGHT/COULD bring us back together (no expectations) but that I really am going to be OK either way. I'm going to be better than OK because I'm beginning to understand myself better than ever."

Honestly, you sound like you're there, but are held back by a tiny shred of doubt.

I'm not going to say that you should or should not revisit the Sep agreement with your W. I will suggest that if you don't, you're on the edge of becoming bitter and angry towards your W, which will eat away at you and eliminate any chance of reconciliation.

You don't want to hurt your W or make her look like the bad guy. But, you know what, she IS the bad guy (kindof). If she gets some heat/feels some pains because of her actions. Well, those are self-inflicted wounds caused by HER. Not you. You aren't responsible for her actions or the pain they cause her.

Hello Heimlich. Are you the new most active poster around these parts? Kind of feels like it.

Oofah, hadn't really noticed until I looked at my post number. Whoa. Hey, we all had to step up when you took a much-needed break

Anyway, my 2 pennies on a Friday morning.

BD