OT, what is the issue? Here's the way I see it, he is not forthcoming with me. He is very secretive. Last night he lied. It was good lie but nevertheless it was a lie. Here's what happened. He had two notices from the bank that 2 separate checks bounced. I didn't open them as they were addressed to him but I know what they were, seen them numerous times. I didn't question him about it or act like I knew, I simply figured it was his business. However, he brought it up - he said well the oral surgeon screwed me up, I paid him $200 at the time of surgery from my debit card and they went in earlier this week and withdrew from the balance without his knowledge or permission. Now, that's just stupid and quite a lie. It continually insults my intelligence. The only thing I said was oh my that hurts.
OT, I'm not going to blindside him. I have leveled with him to a point. It's just been within the last 2 weeks after talking to my IC that I think we have a lot of problems in our marriage and quite frankly, it's not me. With that being said, I said on a previous post that my IC wants to counsel us together now and together we are going to lay it out to my H. I know that my communication skills are poor so my C is going to mediate for us. My IC also told me that he would like to see us continue to make a go of our M and he wants to counsel us keeping that in mind. It's not all lost, it's just that I'm not emotionally attached anymore. I don't trust my H and I certainly don't respect him so yes, from here on out it will be tougher to stay together - I'm not sure I have much fight left in me. Two options, stay or go, my third is to continue down this cheesless tunnel, H trying hard, me trying hard and me continuing to drive myself crazy trying to retrain my thoughts. It is very, very difficult. I have to ask though, why am I made out to be the bad guy because I'm moving forward with my life? I don't understand that. I have tried, I'm still trying. But I'm just not that optimistsic anymore. I'm growing emotionally and mentally. I'm stepping outside of the box looking in for the first time in a long time. I really feel that I'm making progress.
