Alas, most people are incapable of acknowledging the problems until they explode in their faces - heck, how many clues did you and I and everyone else here overlook in our pre-bomb days? Sometimes, a person won't face this stuff until they have no other choice.
I like the more subtle approach - 5LL is a great idea. There's certainly always more we can all be doing to make our relationships better and healthier. Live a great example, and make it clear to anyone who will listen that good M's don't just happen - they take hard work!
Thread #10 22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07 Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
Thanks for all the advice about BIL and g/f. I think giving them the book is a great idea, but other than that, they kind of need to find their own way. There was some tension between them this past weekend...but that's BIL's choice to make, not mine.
Let go of what you can't control and all that....
I have to go back to work today. Know what? As much as I love my job, I've really been loving the summer to work on me intensively. There are a few teachers at my school who are...well...not my favorites. BUT, I've decided to just DB them and remember a couple of things:
1. Change your mind, and you change your world. 2. Let go of what you can't control, focus on what you can. 3. Law of Attraction: Put your attention on what you want, not on what you don't want.
So, I got up early today to meditate on those three ideas and set my intentions for the day. It's going to be a GREAT day!
Thanks Dave, F21, Julie, Nikki and Rob for checking in on me! Hope you guys are all doing well.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
. Change your mind, and you change your world. 2. Let go of what you can't control, focus on what you can. 3. Law of Attraction: Put your attention on what you want, not on what you don't want
I love it...I just have to write that down and focus on that!!! again hon...wise wise words!!!!
have a great day at work!!!! And for those that are not your favorites...the DB does work...been doing at work for sometime now...my h says: keep your friends close, but your enemys even closer....tell you what...it works....
Aw, thanks guys. I feel like Yoda now, but less wrinkly.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
Love those quotes, thanks!! I am going to print those out. I may just tape them to my forehead until they sink in.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
1. Change your mind, and you change your world. 2. Let go of what you can't control, focus on what you can. 3. Law of Attraction: Put your attention on what you want, not on what you don't want. SD
Must....remember...psycho grade-chasing parents....cantankerous grandmas....not about ME, about their insecurities and fears...must DB those people....
Yeah, back to school night. LOTS of positives, MOSTLY positives, but of course I noticed the handful of people who--IF I LET THEM--will make my life horrible. Especially since I don't know that for sure. WHY DO I GIVE A CRAP ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK????
*I* am the teacher, and I do not pull what I do out of my @ss. I'm educated, I work hard, I think about and refine what I do, and I continue to educate myself.
Why do I hate myself so much I'm willing to let people who don't even know me intimidate me? Create a whole story about how they probably think I'm crazy and will cause me trouble? Because it's about me...I can't control them...I can only control me.
This is my achilles heel. I care about what others' think--or what I think they think--too much. Gotta let that go....
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
This is my achilles heel. I care about what others' think--or what I think they think--too much. Gotta let that go....
you're d*mn right you do. Let it go.
Instead say...
I don't care what others' think. AND... I KNOW they would love me if they were big enough people to get to know me before they judged me.
It's gotta be tough being a teacher.
YES... DB those cantakerous grandmas (and grandpas, if they show their mugs ) and psycho grade-chasing parents!!!! You can do it!
The words that got me though...
Quote:
Why do I hate myself so much I'm willing to let people who don't even know me intimidate me? Create a whole story about how they probably think I'm crazy and will cause me trouble? Because it's about me...I can't control them...I can only control me.
That's serious. Maybe you are just venting, being hard on yourself.... BUT those are harsh words. Do you think you hate yourself? Do you think you're crazy? Do you think you're viewed as crazy? ....Why?
Sorry for putting you on the spot. Just feeling like it was needed. Maybe it's the wine talking.
Me: 37 M: 14 yrs Separated 10/06; Filed for D 12/07 Life is good.
Just breaks my heart to see how you have been so hurt...
You have a sensitive heart (rare in these self center days); and not surprizing that you have been so deeply hurt...good news hon is that it can be turned around...still keep that beautiful heart of yours...but not be effected by those that "try" to break it...
I too am very sensitive....(built walls for many of years to protect, but found out that only made things more hurtful..cant love in or out).
I found sweetie that we have a inner circle of friends and outer; the inner are those that love us no matter what (seems their are only a few of those..maybe only one but that is enough). the outer circle are those that we work with...live by etc...
the first ones we can trust...the others we share nothing with but; the weather etc...
I have those that I work with that for what ever reason want to come against me..yep at first it hurts...but when I tell myself that they are only the outer circle, not my inner (real friends) I can then really see clearly that their true issue is not with me, but their insecurities about their selves...in the end..I truely feel sorry for them.....
and hon....you are soooooooo worthy to be LOVED!!!! We sure all do here!!!!!!
) and psycho grade-chasing parents!!!! You can do it!