I have been a poster here off and on for a couple of years now. I'm 50 and my wife is 44. As you may remember, my wife finds every excuse in the book to avoid any kind of sexual contact with me. This has been going on for over 15 years. It's really strange because we get along so well in every other aspect of our relationship. But when it comes to sex its like we just don't understand one another at all.
A few mornings ago we were alone with no kids for a few hours, which almost never happens. When I suggested sex she told me she didn't really feel like it (I hear this almost every time I bring it up) but she would do me, which means a handjob. Actually, this is what happens most of the time. Actual intercourse between us is rare.
I told her I really wanted intercourse this time but she blew it off by pretty much just ignoring my comment. I literally begged her to have sex with me, but she said she just didn't feel like it. By the time we got to bed I was ready to accept whatever I could get but afterward I felt a tremendous amount of resentment. After all, we were alone and I really needed that feeling of intimacy with her. When she just does the handjob it certainly helps with biological release but does nothing for me emotionally.
A couple of mornings later I initiated a conversation with her about our sex life for the bazillionth time. I told her I really wanted intercourse more often, not just handjobs. I told her we hadn't always been that way and I wanted to have fun with sex again. And to that, she told me she had "grown up" and sex was just not that big of a deal anymore.
She pointed out that she took care of me with handjobs about once week, which she said is more than normal for married couples. But I told her we only had actual intercourse about once every six weeks, which I think is abnormal for married couples, which set off an argument.
Even when we do the HJ thing I want to hold her and kiss her and caress her, but she is just not interested in that. She just wants to get to it and get it over with as soon as possible.
