I think trust is going to be a big factor in anything that happens from here on out, whether with our spouses of future partners in life. What we use to take for granted or just ignored I think will now be a big red flashing light. It is one of the things I am actually terrified of right now, if by chance my wife and I reconcile I will have a hard time I am pretty sure. With anyone new I think I would doubt anything they said or did. Guess it just takes time to lose that feeling.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
I wish I knew about the trust thing. I guess you are right, though, I do trust H with many things like our finances, the safety and love of the kids, and protecting me, emotionally and physically. Those are important things. Why did they have to go and ruin the other part?
I wish I knew about the trust thing. I guess you are right, though, I do trust H with many things like our finances, the safety and love of the kids, and protecting me, emotionally and physically. Those are important things. Why did they have to go and ruin the other part?
I don't.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
Donna, I do not know your H from Adam but is he nice on the outside and empty on the inside? I dated a man like that. He could have run for President but never have a close R with anyone. I am just wondering if your H has intimacy issues?
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
mkultra, that sucks. I suppose I shouldn't be naive because look what he has done already. The funny thing is (morgan and I have talked about this), he claims HE is worried I am going to screw him with our finances and kid stuff. What basis does he have for that?? I couldn't believe it. *I'm* the fool, sitting and waiting!
assuming you meant me, mk, my h doesn't have intimacy issues that I know of. well, take that back, he isn't that open with everyone, but is with me. was with me. now I'm guessing he is with her. he's a one-woman kind of guy. the running for pres. comment got me, though...he's almost always the center, the straw the stirs the drink so-to-say. in fact, if you all met him, you'd all love him...but you wouldn't really know him. know what I mean?
trust. well, time will tell on that one how/when we trust others.
now for today...what a way to wake up. H called to say good morning to the kids, they weren't up yet, so we called him 15 minutes later when they were. all was fine...he said hi to the kids, they chatted a bit, then I got on the phone (as is usual) to firm up plans for him picking the kids up today and such. suddenly he started getting really distracted sounding and his breathing got a bit heavier/irregular. so wtf, were they doing it when he was on the phone with me? ewwwww. I'm guessing she was maybe getting things going...he didn't sound like it when he was talking to the kids at least.
*shudder*
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
okay, now that I've had a chance to scrub my mind free of the image above...my sister called a while ago and said instead of scurrying off the phone I should have extended things, chatted inanely for ever. lol. next time. (although, eww, hoping there is no next time on that. good lord, does it get them off or something? ewwwww)
am planning on having a good day today. not sure about the gym. my upper back is killing me, guessing I did something at the pool yesterday (maybe lifting kids out of the pool after numerous jumps?). today is back day at the gym, so thinking I'll put it off till tomorrow or maybe after h gets the kids I'll just go and do cardio tonight. that sounds like a good plan. its yet another beautiful day here in ma...we are getting quite a string of them, aren't we? debating on the farm with the kids, or just sticking close to home and playing around here. either way, will make it a fun one.
hope everyone has a great labor day weekend. will be a quiet one here. kids are with h until sunday, I'm keeping busy...have a huge to-do list that I hope to get done while they are gone and plan to meet up with a friend tomorrow for a bit, then have a bbq to go to on monday. I will not let myself dwell on whether h is planning on the beach house get-away with the kids, because dwelling won't change anything if he does do it. my response will be swift and sure though, if he chooses to go that route.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
OW doesn't like H giving you any time and attention, esp. when he is with her. Therefore she started stuff to get him off the phone once he finished talking to the kids.
As twisted as it seems, to her, you are the threat.
as the time for h to come gets closer, I'm starting to get nervous. what if he comes in and just makes the pronouncement, that he's taking the kids to her beachhouse. what do I do? I know what I'll do if he asks about it ahead of time again, and I know what I'll do if he just does it w/o letting me know ahead of time. but what if he does it like this? he knows I won't make a scene in front of the kids. I can hustle them upstairs and try to talk with him about it out of their hearing, but honestly, if he goes this route and is a complete jerk about it, there is really nothing I can do, short of making that scene/not letting them leave, which would hurt the kids, so again, not an option.
ugh. getting nervous.
hopefully I'm just worrying for nothing here.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
I suppose I shouldn't be naive because look what he has done already. The funny thing is (morgan and I have talked about this), he claims HE is worried I am going to screw him with our finances and kid stuff. What basis does he have for that?? I couldn't believe it. *I'm* the fool, sitting and waiting!