Plank removed from eye, too late for WAW? 4

[Heimlich]

Limbo,
Yep, feeling pretty good.

Not really journaling, just an entry of an email exchange between my W and I. I'm torn about allowing my W to help me, again, Acts of Service is her love language. Anyway,


WIFE:

Looks like D6 is going to Leeza's to swim on Saturday--noonish. So, I'll take D9 shopping for a shower curtain and stuff and you can go bed shopping if you like.
If you want help cleaning, I'm happy to help with that. Lauren and I go also bring some stuff over--cleaning aids, excess groceries and the target stuff. But all up to you.

ME:

I sincerely thank you for the offer, and please don't misunderstand, but I'd like to do the cleaning myself. The apartment is going to be my new home. For now, maybe forever, we are just friends; you are not my wife, not in any real sense of the word. In my new home, you are a guest. Guests do not clean my toilets, bathtubs, or floors. You know how I feel about you and I wish it were otherwise between us.

I would appreciate your help in bringing some things over on Saturday -- it's a long walk up those stairs. I'd like to show the girls, and you, the apartment. I hope everyone is as pleased as I am at the space.

I'd like to stay here through next week as the girls settle into school.

I'll begin staying at my apartment next Sat/Sun. Let's talk about what we think might work best regarding them. Until I'm in, I'd prefer to leave groceries here.

Yes, I'll definately bed shop on Saturday. I'll look at mattress
discounters and elsewhere. Ought to pick up a paper tomorrow and
Saturday as well to check for additional sales.

WIFE:

Ok.

[ItsKat]

I am glad you set that boundary, Heim. You approached it in a firm but caring way.

[oldtimer]

Heim,

I'm sure that was scary. I think it was a good move.

[delia]

Hi Heimlich---

I think you approached that well, too.

[Heimlich]

Thanks, ladies. Chalk up another experience of things I'd never thought I'd say to my W.

Yeah, that was scary. And it sucked.

Still sucks.

BD

[chicki]

Thats what Dr. Dobson calls "tough love".

Good for you.

You prolly made her think a bit.

[delia]

Honestly, Heimlich, I don't think that your wife fully comprehends what separation means.

[stewart10]

Hey Heim:

I agree with everybody else. Good job on the emails. I don't know if I would have been able to turn down the help, as I don't think I am where you are yet. Good job. Glad the new place is coming along nicely.


Stew

[Not Much Left]

Good job H.

[Gone Dancin']

Bravo, my friend -- I think you did splendidly!

W is likely really thinking about her choices and how you are doing mentally and emotionally. Like delia said -- I don't think your W really does comprehend what separation really means.

Well done, lad!

GD

Oh, and I wanted to make a comment regarding something you posted on waw1978's thread:

GD and his W are the same age and there were still control issues.

This is more or less true (I'm 2 yrs older). However, when we first began dating, I was 17 and she was 15. Back then, that was a fairly distinct age difference (Sophomore and Senior). I believe that this lends strongly to that new "theory" that age factors in with the control issues. I was the "older boyfriend" and therefore felt like I knew best or more about things.

Also, I think that education has something to do with the control issues. For a while, I kind of felt I had a much broader understanding about life and such because of my going to and graduating from college. I think this, combined with our early relationship where I was "older," played into my control issues. Also, my insecurity as a man -- not being able to do handy work and be a Mr. Fix-It kind of guy -- definitely played a role.

GD