I just got back from picking up the kids. I had eaten dinner with the in-laws (she "made" me eat with them yesterday, since she didn't think I would bother if she didn't--it was a kind gesture). So, I cooked for the three of us tonight.
H didn't bother to come out to say good-bye to the kids, which was fine (a bit unusual, since he won't see them until Wed next week, but nothing is usual anymore, is it?).
D wants to go out for a walk with me. Her homework tonight was to bring in a picture of a hero. She asked me for mine.
donna, meant to ask, you expressed possible interest in a db meet in boston...am thinking of oct. 13 if that works for you. let me know either way on the just-for-fun boston meet thread. hope you can make it!
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
Oh, at the end of the school day today, I sat and talked with a friend there that I admire. She told me how she D'd her H after 28 years of M, which she put up with him married to his job (6--7 days a week, 6am--10pm) and was emotionally abusive. I never would have thought that about her--she is so strong and happy, now.
She had thought about it for 10 years (!), but wanted to see her 3 kids through college, and he was vindictive to hurt her the only way he could--through the kids. Then, 2 events happened. Her grandmother passed away, and all anyone talked about was how she was married for 70 years. She couldn't imagine another 42 with her H! And then, he told her son that if she ever left, it would cut her income by 2/3. It made her feel like he saw her as a whore--only staying for the $$. But she said it was all about the kids. So, she left. She even offered a temp sep if he went to counseling. He asked if she could guarentee that they would get back together. She said no, so he said no.
Anyway, I am surprised at how many women are so open to sharing their stories with me when I mention what I am going through. It's as if they have all been placed in my path, at the right moment, on purpose.
I told her about my sitch, and then it was time to go. She hugged me for a long time, telling me that I will soon come to realize and take to heart that I deserve so much better, that I am worth more than what he could possibly give in the present moment.
A DB meet! Awe man, I am jealous as I am #1 Shy #2 Paranoid #3 West Sieeede!
Yes, Donna our WS-husbands are a sad, unhappy lot but they don't know how to be happy so why go down with a sinking ship? You must be in such a weird place, avoiding the drama but completely worthy to have drama. If any one deserves to yella nd curse it is you, but no. You get to be calm and collected mom. It is weird. Some people would have kicked their a$$es by now. Haha. That is so west sieeede.
Instead you are SuperDonna! Hero to all DBers and future happy spouses everywhere.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
Now that it's all said and done, I can't believe you were the one To build me up and tear me down, Like an old abandoned house. What you said when you left Just left me cold and out of breath. I fell too far, was in way too deep. Guess I let you get the best of me.
Well, I never saw it coming. I should've started running A long, long time ago. And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you More than you, more than you know. I'm slowly getting closure. I guess it's really over. I'm finally getting better. And now I'm picking up the pieces. I'm spending all of these years Putting my heart back together. 'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through, I got over you.
You took a hammer to these walls, Dragged the memories down the hall, Packed your bags and walked away. There was nothing I could say. And when you slammed the front door shut, A lot of others opened up, So did my eyes so I could see That you never were the best for me.
Well, I never saw it coming. I should've started running A long, long time ago. And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you More than you, more than you know. I'm slowly getting closure. I guess it's really over. I'm finally getting better. And now I'm picking up the pieces. I'm spending all of these years Putting my heart back together. 'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through, I got over you.
Well, I never saw it coming. I should've started running A long, long time ago. And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you More than you, more than you know.
Well, I never saw it coming. I should've started running A long, long time ago. And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you More than you, more than you know. I'm slowly getting closure. I guess it's really over. I'm finally getting better. And now I'm picking up the pieces. I'm spending all of these years Putting my heart back together. Well I'm putting my heart back together, 'Cause I got over you. Well I got over you. I got over you. 'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through, I got over you.
Other songs I heard today--
Never Again...Kelly Clarkson
You Oughta Know...Alanis Morriset (as I pulled into his driveway to get the kids--played it real loud)
lol, mk, yeah, I'm paranoid, too, but notice I am going with the group activity. I have met some other people irl that I knew online...granted, I knew them for a few years, knew them very well, talked on the phone with them, we got to really know each other first. so this will be different, but I still feel okay with it. again, that group thing I guess.
funny, btw, you don't strike me as shy.
um, west sieeede???? all I can think of is the new smirnoff raw tea video.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
Hey Donna - you are really sounding so good. Those 2x4 bumps look good on you.. I'm teasing.. I don't think you have many more than a lot of us.
I just heard that song for the first time today and bawled my eyes out... guess it's one of those that probably hits you very differently depending on where you're at mentally.
Meeting DB'ers is great!! Nothing to be afraid of at all.. and in fact, something to look forward to.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
I'm teasing.. I don't think you have many more than a lot of us.