Given that I'm three months into a separation and out of the house with minimal contact about emotional/heavy stuff (wife said she wanted space, and I'm giving her plenty of that for now), should I contact a lawyer in case we're headed for a D? She's not said we are, but shows no sign yet of willingness to go to couples therapy, talk to me about the problems we each need to own, or just where she is emotionally. She did breakdown in front of me two weeks ago, saying "My life is all f...ed up." I asked if she wanted to talk about anything, but she said no. I asked a second time, she said no and then I left. That's one of the few peeks behind the "mask" I've gotten. I'm doing a better job of letting go of trying to read things into the slimmest of evidence from an email, or when I go to the house to mow the yard or pay bills, etc. I'm moving to a new apartment in a month (she doesn't know that yet) and moving forward with the GAL. I will not walk out on the marriage. Part of me thinks she'd like me to do just that, but I have no firm basis for that idea. I just don't know where she is emotionally aside from a few brief peeks.
If I do see a lawyer, what do I need to ask? How do I know if the lawyer is a good one? I don't want to screw my wife in any D that might happen in our future. I'm not that kind of person. But I also want to make sure I am protected. My family has no assets; I have long had to take care of myself financially. I don't think she's vindictive, but in cases like this you never know. As far as I can tell, her paradigm is that I'm the problem in the relationship, and her "problem" is only to figure out why she put up with my problems/neglect. I feel it's a lot more complicated than that, though I do plead guilty to a lot of sins. Right now the idea of talking about some things I'd like to raise seems a LONG way off, if it ever happens.
