Post up a thread, it would be a great tool for others and yourself. As for the manipulation point, well you have found the website so I'm wondering if you have read Divorce Remedy? You should and see what Michelle says about manipulation.
If all I saw was the BB's and my W was on her soliciting advice and then trying it out on me I think I'd be hurt as well, but remember this person is trying to save the R, and that is admirable. The whole process of DB'ing is about changes through actions (manipulation), you either carry a negative conotation with that word or you don't and most see it negatively.
Actions always produce reactions, thats how we got here to begin with, and it is how we get out of here as well, it's just which actions do you want to see, yelling and griping or smiles and laughs. Why is one set seeking a positive manipulation and the other set of actions isn't. Sorry, this is a rant for myself mostly.
