"see him for what he is right now. I keep looking past too much, looking back to what he was and applying it to today."
Donna, I think you simply keep looking past too much. I think you have ALWAYS been looking past to much. He was never what you wanted to see, and you always looked past it.
This is why I keep suggesting the bulk of this really isn't about him. It is about what you need to believe about yourself. If you figure out what those things are, you can belive them without him, as you were always the true source of those beliefs anyway.
You are a good girl. You are a good person. You are lovable. You do deserve to be treated well.
