Hey, sorry I haven't checked in with you in awhile.
Quote:
I'm not sure how to stop this spiral of noncommunication with W.
The same way you would stop it with any other human being. You pick up the phone, or a pen, or a computer, and YOU start it.
Your W sure seems hard and cold. Mine was too for a long time, but not to the extreme of your W. If I did'nt call my W, she would'nt have called me at all other than for kid's stuff. This went on for at least two years. So I just kept on calling her, ignoring that she was a cold hearted bitch, and fought hard to stay in an upbeat, joyful place. The fact that she was bitter, angry, and cold was HER friggin problem, not mine. That she was willing to give up a great man in me was HER failing.
When I finally began to realize that, then I was able to have more sensitivity towards her position, and more control over my life. When I finally accepted the amount of pain that SHE too was suffering, and realized my part in it, then I could understand why she was where she was. But the steadier, stronger, more confident, more joyful I became, the more attractive I became.
Believe it or not, we're still not 100% where we want to be in our R, but we're still moving forward, not backward. It's been almost 7 years a work in progress. Only seems right, it took us 12 years to get into the mess we got into.
Don't worry about the future my friend. Relish the present. Tell your kid's how much you love them, and how proud you are of them.
Someday when you find the strength, maybe YOU can set down your fears, and start treating your W like you would any other friend. Start with friendship, and work forward from there.
Keep your head down soldier!
God Bless,
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
