WAW1978's adventures in DB'ing -3

[Nomopo]

Flip:

With all due respect, I believe you may be mis-reading your WAS.

Once you have announced your intentions, your H does a complete 180 that you very seriously doubt is for real.

It took this sort of jarring event to wake me up, quite literally. But I can assure you my intentions to change myself, to amend for my wrongs, and to make my W feel loved (I always loved her) were/are VERY real. Whether you doubt his intentions or not is up to you. You could put your doubt aside and work in good faith to see if you two can save your marriage. That is a possibility that you could choose. Focus on what you can do. Do what you think is the right thing. Try to put your very valid emotions (anger, hurt, etc.) aside and do what is best for you and your family/kids (if you have any).

It is only b/c he realizes that he has completely screwed up and could lose absolutely everything.

So what. This is what it took for me to have my awakening. Better late than never. I wish it had happened sooner. It didn't. I am trying to do the best I can and do right now. As an aside, my W stil has not had an awakening into her role in making this mess that os our M/R. Have you had yours? It takes two to screw a M/R up.

You rock along knowing that he is still lying about little things AND you find out that he is posting half truths at best on this very website!

Can't really respond to your allegations of lying and half-truths unless you give us details. Does your H know you are snooping on him? Do you feel that is appropriate? I would submit that he is taking the time and effort to be here ONLY because he loves you and wants to save the M. Admirable reasons IMO.

You know that everything he is doing and saying is not his heartfelt response to the situation, but rather an orchestrated attempt not to lose it all.

How in the world do you "know" this? You "know" what is in his heart? Is it possible you are assuming the worst, and not giving him credit for better intentions. These matters are extremely complicated, and lots of things are going on in people's heads and hearts. Emotions on both sides are in overdrive. Give each other some slack. Forget about being right. Look for solutions.

I see there are many additional posts since I started writing this. It is a fast moving morning, so will be hard to keep up on this thread.

I wish you and your H the VERY BEST. Sincerely.

Nomo

PS - I wonder if you are my W.