Me: Hey...this question was posed and it was said that if I needed to know the answer, I should just ask.
Him: Ok...what is it.
Me: Well.......why is it that you, the WAS just left and have not finished things up and have not seen things through before you started you new life?
Him: I am not a WAS, I simply moved out.
Me: Well, you moved out while I was at work and you didn't even warn me, nor did you bother for over a year to help in any sort of way in keeping the house up.
Him: I tried, but you wouldn't let me. I am not a WAS, I am paying the bills......so there.
Me: uh- ok, and thank you for doing that, BUT...now honey, I know we don't see things eye to eye but in 16 months or so you havent plucked a blade of grass, fixed a sprinkler, packed up anything.....I mean, I packed it for you and had you come get it out? Where you not at all interested in your stuff you wanted so desperatly.
Him: Yes, but I knew it was safe there and I am trying to simplify my life........
Me: Honey......you know they say, after going through a divorce that you should spend and X amount of time alone before jumping into another relationship....
Him: Guess thats why ours went down the crapper
Me: Yes, thats very true....but I have been doing alot of searching and spending alot of time alone organizing my thoughts and myself to where I can oneday say...I did my best. I did not runaway from my responsibilities.
Him: I did not run....
Me: No honey....you didn't. (drawing blood again) I was just trying to remind you in a nice way that in the good-bye letter you wrote to me , you said you needed to BE ALONE! YOU NEEDED TO FIND YOU! So now, you say our relationship went down the crapper (i detest that saying) because you jumped from one marriage into another without having your ALONE TIME....what do you think is going to happen to the one your in now...FLUSH!
Him: Thank you for your well wishes in my new relationship, I AM NOT a WAS.
Me: Ok honey....I do wish you happiness, this is why I suggested that you do have some alone time. OK...well, have a great day.
Him: Ok, I have to go back to work now, but I will call you later around 6-ish.
Me: Uh...ok, however being that you never call me when you say your going to call me.....I'll see you tomorrow night K?
Him: I said I would......
Me: Bye bye honey.....click.
So you see? I've been very wrong indeed. My x is neither a WAS or a MLC'er.....he just moved.
Damn....I shoulda asked that question YEARS ago. Things would have been alot simpler.
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
The WAW has a problem with the truth, especially when I ask for it. The lesson I have learnt is "asking a WAS" is that it only causes more uncertainty, frustration and very likely, more lies.
I thank you for your advice even though I wouldn't consider it.
God Bless, Suit
"It's better to have no spouse than have a bad spouse"
Suitedup This isn't intended as a hostile question - I am just curious: If you are completely over your WAS and the marraige is over, why are you posting on the MLC boards. OK we are great people, and many continue to post, but they are usually advising others rather than seeking help?
I've been at this a long time. (5 years) My MLC/WAS, whatever you want to call him has filed for divorce twice, both times when we got down to the actual signing he had a brekdown of sorts and begged to give him more time. 5 years later, still same results. We live parallel lives, we co-parent our children and do many things together, but it is strictly a plotonic relationship. We've sold all of our marriage assets, although I did buy a house, so legally he still has claim to it when/if we get divorced. He lives with his mom in a tiny room that my kids call a cave, it is dark and dreary......... He's been depressed since 9/11, won't get help and cycles in and out of this roller coaster. Is this MLC? I don't really think so......Is he a WAS, I guess!! He did have a relationship with a woman for 3 years, she was psychotic!! He finally figured that out!!
I'm going to follow your thread to see what others have to say. I often wonder why they don't just finish what they started!!
Just curious? Do you plan to file for D? I could as well, because we have not lived together in 5 years....... As for me, I'm just getting all my ducks in order.
Suitedup This isn't intended as a hostile question - I am just curious: If you are completely over your WAS and the marraige is over, why are you posting on the MLC boards. OK we are great people, and many continue to post, but they are usually advising others rather than seeking help?
While I can quite clearly see that your question is not hostile, I can't for the life of me understand what you are asking of me.
Are you suggesting that I'm posting in the wrong forum? If you are then please don't answer. Just go away.
Suit
"It's better to have no spouse than have a bad spouse"
Join the club. It seems to be a quite a popular one.
I have no idea why they don't get it over and done with. I'm not seeing too much wrong with an LBS carrying through with it though.
Like you, my ducks aren't still quite there yet but when I look at what I have built up for myself and despite WAW not being in my last will and testament, she can legally contest it and move to the head of the queue. I don't want her in the queue at all. The thought that she can get her hands on it all scares me so much that I've cleaned up my lifestyle and have regular medical checks. It is however, a reason I think itself to go ahead and get it all done.
God Bless, Suit
"It's better to have no spouse than have a bad spouse"
and I am trying to simplify my life........
