My problem in the past was trying to understand exactly what message needed to be delivered.
This is telling me you are MORE interested in being understood, than you are in understanding... and if not understanding... at least validating.
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That meant knowing what was my crap and what was hers, learning to spot a deflection when I saw it.
Just because someone deflects does not mean they are doing so with ill intent. There are all kinds of reasons...
If you take deflection personally, it is probably going to escalate a negative emotion in you. If you are not aware of IT (the negative emotion) and this process, chances are, you are going to take negative action. Now you are WAY off goal, and blaming them for what YOU did and didn't do.
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These issues are beginning to come into better focus for me lately, so I can turn some attention to the delivery method.
I put all this in the context of tactical advantage because I thought it might help you to understand the concept I was trying to convey. That does not mean I am suggesting you need to become more or less tactical.... simply because, to me, the word/concept of 'tactical,' is not harmonious, nor is it conducive for EC.
