I like you have told my friends here at work "Can I just fast forward in to a different life just for a little while" . It is hard to deal with that 16 year old kinda rebellish age. When my H first took a job away for a year and half my youngest S had a girl friend and he tried to bend the rules and I had to of course be the bad guy and it was hard. One time I thought he was going to win (it wasn't bad but he was stretching the rules) but I hung in there and now he and I are the greatest friends and he realizes now where I was coming from...It is really hard though when your by yourself.....
It is a full moon tooo...
Hang in there and I am here for you.....Have a great day..
Hugs to you, Mat. I imagine it can be difficult dealing with a 16 year old under any circumstances. You have to be strong and firm with her. I know she will not appreciate it now, but she sure will some day.
Me 54 DS19 and DS17 Married 06/1989 Divorced 01/2011
Well, nice thought, although it was far from a glorious day. Work was quite hectic and longer than usual.
Then H asked if I'd sit down with him and put our settlement on paper (just the stuff we already agreed to). I wanted to put it off until next week since my lawyer is on vacation, but he wanted to do it tonight. He has to respond to the petition for divorce before Sept 14th and believes if we don't have a settlement that I will get everything my way. Wish it was that easy!!! He did actually talk to a lawyer today (guess he doesn't trust me any more....or at least believes I am being greedy!)
I said I would talk to him, but not agree to anything until I talked to my lawyer. He wasn't very happy to hear me say that! I later told him to give me his best offer!!!
He was waiting at the house when I got home. He had 2 pages of various things and wanted me to initial what we agreed to. Some basic things were ok (like the mandatory child support), but I resisted his pressure to agree to the rest! I am actually quite proud of myself because I was very neutral in my tone and didn't even cry once!
I hate this part! I don't see how there can ever be a "friendly divorce" if only one party wants the divorce. On the other hand at least we are not yelling and screaming at each other!
Mattie, You handled that like a very dignified lady, I'm so proud of you. I'm proud you didn't let him bully you. It's always best to let lawyer look things over, he knows that too, but he thought you would bend to his request, he doesn't realize what a strong woman this has made you. A few months ago you probably wouldn't have been this strong I bet. We are woman hear us roar!
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
I am stronger for sure, but also madder than I was a few months ago. I moved from being sad and scared to MAD! When this first started I really didn't know there was an ow in the picture, although I suspected it. The fact that he has moved so quickly makes me want to fight for my share! I haven't really decided if I am standing up for myself, or just trying to get revenge (although revenge would mean trying to get more than my fair share, wouldn't it????)
Yes, I too want my fair share which means half of our business, which he asked me not to touch so that he could send the girls to college and support them in the fashion they are accustomed to. He asked me this prior to my knowledge of OW, but even then I wasn't that stupid, but after finding out that there is OW and she is his secretary. NO WAY IN HE!! would I agree to it. I don't think it's really revenge, but getting our fair part.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
and support them in the fashion they are accustomed to.
I think my H is interested only in supporting himself in the fashion he has grown accustomed! Not sure where he stands with a long term R with ow,although it appears he spends all his free time with her. Of course, he still denies even having a R...
H doesn't even want to keep D16 on his cell phone plan although he has plenty of shared minutes---even when I mentioned the advantage of having free calls between them! He thinks since he will be paying child support that he won't do one thing extra! Certaintly won't add one more cent to her college fund!
I haven't really decided if I am standing up for myself, or just trying to get revenge (although revenge would mean trying to get more than my fair share, wouldn't it????)
I think that is standing up for yourself. I walked away with a lot more than my fair share. At first I felt guilty, but then I decided that if XH was that concerned about his fair share, he sure would have taken my feelings and concerns into account when he was carrying on with OW all those months. Now, that OW is pregnant and he is planning his life with her...I'm glad that I am sitting here in my house...more financially sound than when I was with him. He wanted this life...I didn't. It's only fair that I didn't get financially cheated since I was so emotionally cheated. If I wanted revenge, I would have done something a lot worse. I didn't want revenge...I wanted a good life.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
Not sure where he stands with a long term R with ow,although it appears he spends all his free time with her. Of course, he still denies even having a R...