WAW filing for D

[dlt1]

So I txt W this am to see if she got my e-mail. Our work e-mail has been spotty, so not sure if it had gone thru. Had asked she get a few things for me and set in garage so i did not have to go inside. 2 reasons, for me, so I don't have urge to look around. Will only upset me if I see signs of OM, which could easily just be that she had F over and nothing else. For her, she was not happy about my snooping (even though it's still my house too).
She had not checked e-mail yet. Calls me 10 min later. Says I should just come by and get stuff. Says she is not sure where everything is. BS, only asked for 4 things, and described place one hat is that she may not have known. I said Ok and went and got it after work. Started to look around, but stopped and went on my merry way.
W calls around 6. Says this may sound stupid, but a F called crying and she was coming over to house. W had C sesh at 7:30 she would have to miss, asked if I wanted to go instead, she woudl pay since will be paying either way for cancelling last minute. I said I just went yesterday and was good. She said somethiung again about having to pay either way. I reiterated I was good. Said goodbye.
Intersting, for once she's thinking of someone other than herself. No idea who upset F is, and did not ask. Not my prob. Found the whole thing strange. I also did not mention that C said I should just come every other week since I am not upset anymore. Looking forward to no contact for next 10 days or so. It's like W is trying to maintain a friendship w/ me that does not exist. Like whole A is done and gone. Whacky!
I'll be signing D papers this weekend to be filed. Will have LF hold off filing until late in week so W is not served until following week. That way we can get through dividin and packing my stuff that Sat beforehand. Hopefully we make good progress since I have no idea how she will react. Want to be amicable and avoid R talk and/or argument. That would slow the process I'm sure. Good Lord I just want my stuff out of there so we can haggle over big stuff and then be done with each other.
I have a feeling she'll be contacting me.
Oh, also she asked about my leg when we spoke this am. Told her it hadn't fallen off anf that I had nurse changing dressing every am and F at work every afternoon. Awwww, I guess she still cares. She doesn't need to. I have plenty of people who truly care and are there for me.
I am soooo ready for my vacation. Work is killer with new promo and me missing a lot of hours with leg stuff. Been working at home at night, and the big guys have noticed. It's nice to have a new focus at work. Have the ladies that will be working for me wondering what is going on, since they don't know yet. As my boss said, it's good to make them squirm for a few days. Take that tidbit to heart for you trying to detach or keep things mysterious with W's. Rain, your W will squirm with your plan. Keep it up!!

[Handful of Rain]

dlt1, Great to hear your in such good spirits,

When you said your W, was thinking of someone other than herself, I guess that is what she wanted you to think, whether that was really her intent,or not. It is a sign that she cares about what you still think of her, must be her, as you said, wanting to have a friendship with you that right now, that doesn't exist. Just take it for what it's worth, but a friendship is the best way to go, and if she is willing then, all you have to do, is be open to be willing too. I know it is hard right now, I mean you are still dealing with the A. So allow yourself to be mad, but be willing to let it go, it will in time. Remember it is better to part as friends, then enemies, or strangers.

Just thought of something, it sounds like your W's conscience may be getting the better of her, and being friends with you, will make her feel in her mind, less guilty, just a thought, though.

And Yes, I agree with your boss, Make em all, squirm, including your W, as you know that is what I trying to do, now. Don't show your hand, till you are ready to win the pot.

When do you leave for vacation? Probably given the sitch, not soon enough, Have a wonderful time, relax, and let all of this stuff with the D, just pass you by, for that time, anyway. Take care.

[dlt1]

Hi Rain,
Leaving Friday 6 am! My F/landlord gets back from overseas later today. Definitely can't wait to see him and the rest of the crew!
I guess right now I just want to part with W, however it is. While I be friendly, or as close as possible while we are working on divvying things up, she's just not someone I want as a friend. I'm sure a lot of that is due to anger and disgust that will probably fade over time. She's beginning to remind me of my xgf whom I don't care for either. Strange

[Handful of Rain]

dlt1, First of all thanks again for all your help, this week has been hard.

As you know, as you let yourself deal with the anger and disgust, it will pass, then you may feel different about a friendship with the W. Just take it slow, and let it run its course.

I know it is hard, but try not to compare her to your XGF, they are different people, obliviously, I mean there was a reason you M'ed her and not your XGF, right? Take care.

[dlt1]

Hello, finally got a break after getting back to check in. Weekend went pretty well. Had a few moments alone where it hurt to be there w/out W. I also signed the initial ppwk with LF. That just made me cry. She is holding off filing until I meet with W thsi weekend to begin packing my things. I will tell W at some point then, depending on the progress and interaction. I am bitter/angry at her this week. Just got done screaming in the car as I picked up lunch. That helped a bit. Need to get it out. This week I am house/dog sitting. Realized it's the first time for me to truly be alone. I hate it. Trying to keep busy, but not a lot of options right now with leg and all. Though it is getting better and think I will be able to ride my bike again next week.
I have to swing by my other residence to take care fo bills and get a few things tonight, but hope to be back to catch up on some threads and perhaps get a good venting post out. May start on my letter to W for C saying how she hurt me and how I feel about it. That should help as well. Man, I am soooooo ready for football to start this weekend! That will keep my attention for a bit.

[Willing NJ H]

Sorry I haven't written much lately DLT, but I have been cheking in. It actually does get easier, just takes time. I had a blowout with W today, and have no idea where it will go. Keep your head up, i'm in the same boat as are many others right now. We're here to help, just as you've been for us.

[dlt1]

Thanks Willing, hope to get caught up on you soon as well. Been away for many days now. probably part of why I am so down and angry b/c i have not vented and shared. With luck my errrands won't take too long tonite.

[Handful of Rain]

dlt1, Glad your back, Hope you did manage to have some fun, I know with a pending D, the emotions come fast and hard, and being alone, really sucks!

So when you are ready go ahead and vent! Take care.

[dlt1]

Hello folks! Bitterness is fading a bit.
Talked to a F who made me realize how good we have it. As short a version as I can make it:
His sis was M. H cheated and had kid. Sis had no idea. Found out by coming home early when kid was about a yr old and found H trying to hang himself. She freaked and saved him. He confesses and tries to just keys into his throat. She again stops him. They agree to work on things b/c M is sooooo imprtant. Things go well for many months. Then H 180's into womanizer and sis says no mas. gets a decent settlement (they have no kids) H has a company. He stops paying his portion, sis sells condo at loss. life is bad. parents aren;t happy she hid it all until the last straw.
Sis remarried a few months ago to a wonderful guy.
I think we can manage if we wish too
back to my sitch. Telling W Sat that i am filing as soon as we finish packing. Done and done! She is really worthless to me anymore. I see no changes coming and doubt I care to. Ok maybe still a little bitterness, but I just feel like I once again have to take control b/c she is doing whatever she wants whether we are M or not. I actually need the D before I can carry on and find happiness. Oh the ride that is a coming. Surf's up! Which wave will i catch first?

[dlt1]

Well, we finally made the announcement at work about my promotion today. The ladies are pretty happy about it for the most part. Gave me a PMA boost as they clapped a bit. Got to sit down and grasp a little more of what I am taking on. Tomorrow I am 95% sure I will make my first hire. And then next week my first fire. Why not jump in and lay it all out! Only thing that is going to be dicey is xgf was informed I am now her boss. My understanding was it was not going to be put quite that bluntly, but oh well. That 'stress' doesn't compare to what I've been through the past 6-8 weeks! As my BF's dad woudl tell him when he would complain of stress:
"Try flying backseat in an F4 at tree top level during Nam when even your 'allies' are trying to shoot you down!" You don't know what stress is."
Killing time now before my Superbowl Champion Colts kickoff. Just watching the game at the regular Thurs night bar. Tomorrow my roomie has secured us an invite to the Colts team party. She went last year and said nearly half the team was there. She very nearly spilled a drink on Peyton. Looking forward to rubbing elbows with those guys. Maybe I can pass as the practice team punter LOL. So ready for a night out with a lot of people I don't know. get to work on that whole socializing thing again.
did I say GO COLTS!!!!