What you say isn't stupid to me at all it makes complete sense.
In my case it wasn't even getting beaten it was just the fear of my fathers uncontrollable rage that I was only the focus of vary rarely. I remember thinking "I don't want to be like him".
Just think about it for a bit, it was pretty big thing for me to understand.
What your talking about was I think at the centre of my being a "nice guy".
