Are you saying that when my wife does or does not do something that makes me upset, that I should basically block out any emotions
No. You don't block them. You are going to feel them. For example... JUST AN EXAMPLE
Let's say you initiate sex. Your wife says no.
Let's say, for discussion sake, that your first emotional response to that is hurt. And just for discussion sake, let's say when this particular cycle happens, your hurt prompts you to become angry. And when you feel angry, you might yell, you might get sarcastic, you might leave the room. You have all kinds of choices, right?
And this is where you have to really pay attention to what is going on inside of you, and in what order.
No one likes to feel hurt. However, at this juncture, if you actually stop and 'feel the feeling,' decide where it is located in your body, focus it on it, concentrate on it, and the LET IT GO... you've stopped the progression and escalation of the emotion into anger. So... you are not stopping yourself from feeling... you are not detaching from your emotions... you are monitoring them very closely, actually... and you are managing them. Instead of them managing you.
See, while sitting in her C.U. chair, you getting angry is what your wife is banking on, because if you get angry, now it's all YOUR fault... at least in her mind (you are angry at her, she must protect herself).
Can you see how becoming better and better at this would be an a huge advantage for you... with her? Most especially?
