Just going to mention somethings about porn, maybe you can get something from it if not well it'll probably do me a bit of good to write this out.
First exposure to the world of illicit images was in kindergarten, a friend had stolen a playboy from his dad a bunch of us boys got together and would look at them in the woods. We got caught not much of a big deal was made but I felt like something was up with the secrecy that was around it. My next recollection of this was finding a pamphlet of sex toys in my dads tool case, caught again but it was my dad who got in [censored] I was 9 or so.
At about 11 my friends step dad who was a biker dude had a huge collection of porn mags in the basement that we three guys would just take and checkout in our fort. This is all before I had masturbated or even thought about it. Porn was something that was completely part of an apparently secret "male world".
I know that my experience probably isn't unique. I do think that beyond the escape from feelings that escaping into porn and fantasy can accomplish there is some thing else. I don't know if I can articulate it exactly but it seems in many ways it can be an attempt to reconnect with a sense of the masculine.
