H is afraid of my reactions and he doesn't like to talk anyway. The ONLY way he will talk is if he feels safe with me and I have to be in a really good place in order for him to be safe with me.
Maybe one way to get him to open up would be to get him a copy of "No More Mr Nice Guy," "Stop Walking on Eggshells" or "The Verbally Abusive Relationship." Those books might feel empowering and validating to him. Even though he will read them with you in mind as the culprit, they could be a start. Then maybe later he can open his mind to other books.
