The Road to Reconciliation ... a bit of a survey

[Steel_Box]

How long were you together? Friends 17, together, 10 Married 7
How long have you been separated? On paper 3 1/2 mos, phsically living seperate 1 1/2 mos
Do you understand what happened to cause the separation? not enough time together between work and kids, my fathers death, my depression, her travel, and oh Of course her affair probably sped it right along
What do you think your partner thinks of you (now, then)?Now- much improved emotionally, more attentive to her (truly listening versus hearing), Much smaller and fit again. Before - depressed, needy, unhealthy and out of shape.

How does your partner behave towards you now?Much more friendly and less defensive. She appears to be making efforts to improve our R.
Are you able to understand your partners actions? Are you kidding Actually I can better understand where some of her actions are coming from

Do you seen any glimmer of hope for your R coming from your partner? yes

If so, how long did it take before hope appeared (following separation)? July 16th. 2 months after official S and 1 month after 1st court date.

What do you think caused that change in your partner? a combination of reality(2 weeks alone with 2kids on the road), visiting her father, (opened her eyes to how much I DO in the R and the Home), Family pressure, and me pulling away.

How regularly do you have *any* type of contact with your partner? daily phone calls 2 small children make it a must.

How often do you see your partner?We see each other almost every day when she is not out of town for work. (gone aprx 2 weeks a month)

Is that often enough?NO

Have you gone through a 'dating period'?I guess that is where we are now

Was that positive?yes and no. Sometimes I get where I am just tired of it all and don't know if I want to keep trying[color]

Are you able to discuss your R at all or is that too dangerous?[color:#000099]Only the small stuff, she still get defensive quickly.

What do you do with your free time? When I actually have some. Exercise, go out with friends, play with my kids

How do you handle the feeling of being lonely, assuming you do feel that way?stay busy

What do you think about your partner (now, then)?
Do you still want to reconcile?[color:#000099] yes about 75% of the time. I hope that goes back up