My ride on the Roller Coaster called WAW Hell

[Steel_Box]

Thanks Matt,
I am going to try to respond with ILY. Oddly enough the times that she has said it I was so caught off guard that I didn't really relaize it until the moment passed. (I quit listening/hoping for it I guess)

As far as S. I did speak with her and her position was that she did not want to invest in things w W until she knew that it was worth her trouble (IE: we were getting back together). I explained to her that I understood how she felt and that she had every right to feel that way. (anyone else DB'ng their family ) I also told her that she needed to understand that W had been trying lately and that even if we do fix this it will take a long time. It might take months or years before this is settled so she won't be able to sit on the sidelines and not "invest" anything until then.

A little later, once again my Mom has proven to be the rock of the family. She called me yesterday evening to discuss what my plans were regarding that weekend. While talking she told me that she had done some thinking, and realilzed that she had been angry about the sitch earlier. She had come to the conclusion that she felt that W was also hurting and to exclude her from this would be cruel. W and my Father were very close, probably closer than W is with either her father or step-father. She also realizes that for the family to turn their back on her right now would only push W further by giving her the justification that they didn't want her around so why should she try. She said "We need to love her like she is even with the flaws and hopefully that will help her realize what she has done,ad what she will be leaving. Hopefully that recognition will show her the value of family and allow her to truly recommit".
Mom offered to call S and talk to her and try to explain this line of thought. I will give her the chance before I say anything to W.

[Matt-14]

Steel,

That sounds good. My mom was sort of the same way. She got upset at first and I basically told her that I did not need that right now and that it wasn't helping the sitch. at all. She has been a lot better and supportive of my W.

I try not to discuss anything with my family now. I have never been one to discuss personal issues with my parents. Just the way I grew up. A stranger on the street or this board....no problem!

Matt

[Steel_Box]

Maybe we're long lost brothers!

Before this started I rarely discussed personal issues with family. It just wasn't something we did. All of us would be willing to listen if it came up, but no-one would be comfortable enough to actually start.

I actually started talking to my Mom when I felt that I had to fully explain the sitch. She was very upset with me when she found out that I had filed for D.

[Heimlich]

Going to be away from computers til Sunday, going to attempt suicide by triathlon in FLA. Have a good weekend.

Thanks for checking in on me, doing pretty well for the moment. Kick some butt. That's a huge time investment and I hope you enjoy it (as much as you can enjoy something that involves the possibility of puking and muscle cramps). You da man!

Which one you doing?

BD

[Heimlich]

Steel,

How'd the triathlon go? Haven't seen you for a few days, so maybe the suicide attempt was successful

BD

[Steel_Box]

Hey Heimlich,
No I made it. The race was a great experience and I'll do it some more for sure. W flew out of town early Sunday morning so I had to come back in from Fla and get the kids. I was a bit aggravated about this since I've had these plans for a couple of months, and she scheduled her work in the last few weeks. I've been busier than that one-legged man in an a$$ kicking contest trying to catch up with the house, kids school, swim practices, work, and my training. I am going to try to catch up with everybody some today.

The triathlon went pretty well. I finished in 2hrs 11m, which was middle of the pack. Hell I started out just hoping to finish! Really the worst thing was the jellyfish.

It was a great GAL weekend. I ran into one of my old rugby buddies that I haven't seen in a couple of years. He and his wife were there and it was really great to see them again. It turns out that they live close to my mom now so we are going to train together whenever I go visit.

Another aspect of the weekend that was interesting and unexpected, was a group of girls that were there. One of the guys who reserved the place for us to stay happens to be a manager at Hooter's. A group of his waitresses found out that he had a place and decided to come down and cheer him on / go to the beach for the weekend. (women - feel free to roll your eyes and fire away!)

They were all young (20 to 25) and I forgot what kind of energy we had at that age. Not that I feel old, just that they were coming in from the bar when we were leaving at 5 am to go to the race. And then they managed to be at the race for 7 am and stay up the rest of the day only to do it again. It was definitely a different perspective from my norm, and NOT what I would want to be involved in anymore but fun all the same. They all seemed very nice, despite what I would call the normal early 20's drama. I'm sure that W will notice that they are in the pictures with us from the condo, the beach, and the race. That should throw some mystery into the mix! (not that there is any. But, perception is a big part of reality right?)


Overall it was a good weekend.

[Steel_Box]

BTW puking no, muscle cramps - in a big way.

It was the Sandestin Tri.

[Heimlich]

and NOT what I would want to be involved in anymore but fun all the same.

CVA's devil says being involved in that for a week or two would be ok

Sounds like a blast. First triathlon and middle of the pack. Not too shabby.

BD

[Steel_Box]

Well I realized earlier that today it has been 4 months since I was officially told of the A. I was originally going to come here to rant and vent. Luckily between work and answering a post, I no longer feel the need to(thanks Heimlich). Its still hard to believe that it has only been 4 months. It seems like forever ago.

I commend everyone here that has been DBing for many more months and years. It takes amazing amounts of strength to keep it up. I hope that I can continue to follow your examples.

Thank you to everyone who has helped me thus far.

Steel_box

[Steel_Box]

CVA's devil says being involved in that for a week or two would be ok ;)BD

I was only around them 2 days and I was worn out. Granted I did the triathlon that morning but that night after dinner when they were all dressed up and geared to go out. . . I crashed and went to bed. If there was ever a time to pull yourself up by the bootstraps this was it, and I just didn't have it in me.

Ah well C'est la vie