I can't handle it. I want it so much - but I can't. Started crying today outside the bar - just before I had to start working. He was there and then decided he was gonna work, and I'd better go home.
I feel so week. Ordered DIVORCE BUSTING at the booksellers today - if I am lucky, they'll have it tomorrow.
I definitely need means do deal with him on a business basis first. But there are still so many private things involved.... I wanna give him SPACE. But it's kind of hard, if we see each other nearly every day.... And I do trust him now more than I maybe did before. It was finally HIS decision to proceed this style - after I waited for months for him to decide ANYTHING. So I need to accept it. But living with it is a different thing..... HOW CAN I PROCEED?????
