So many of the decisions I make in an average day or week are calculated so as to keep W happy, in some twisted hope that she will "make herself available" to me. The little Blackfoot on my shoulder is saying, "Yeah...so how's that workin' for you so far?" Get offa my shoulder Mr. Obvious, ya little pissant.
Hairdog,
This was EXACTLY my problem, and it remains to be seen if I could have freed myself of it absent the righteous indignation that comes from being betrayed, but liberate myself I did. Like you describe, nearly EVERYTHING I used to do used to be done from a perspective of "Will this make my wife happy? Will she be upset? How can I keep from upsetting her, and keep/make her happy with me?"
It was a prison that I simply chose not to live in anymore.
My sister said it best: "your job is not to please her, or any person. Your job is to please GOD."
NOP said it another way: "In every situation, no matter how scary or difficult, just do the right thing, and be brave about it. DO THE RIGHT THING. And the rest will take care of itself."
