Easy there big guy…. Remember that FIL and MIL are the messed up products that helped to create the mess you’re in (via your wife), so jumping down FIL’s throat will probably get you similar results to what you get with your wife. You’re way smarter than that.
Right on, and the advice you and OT gave me helped me stay calm and focused during the discussion, which ended up reasonably well. As it turns out, there was another mitigating factor. My FIL has another job opportunity that is coming up so he wanted to get as much work done before that job starts. It really is quite considerate of him. I do think the problem of lack of respect for what I do is still there, as this is not the first instance of me feeling that way, and some very direct statements have been made.
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may think of yourself as just a struggling professor, but I doubt he sees you that way. He probably has some envy of your education and the stability of your job and your future, especially now that he is feeling the sting of unemployment. Each year that goes by you further cement your status and reputation at the school, with your wife and the in-laws.
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He is probably very envious. I say this knowing that there HAS to be some FOO is his background, so his response to this envy will not likely be healthy. So he tries to pull you into the pit, get you off center, rock your world a little and take you down a notch or two. That might feel good to him, put you on a level playing field with him. Now this is all speculation on my part, but that might be one way to view him and keep yourself to a higher code of behavior.
He has made statements in the past about how unfair it is that professors can get tenure, while the rest of the poor hard-working saps of the world have to live with being fired a constant threat. In his line of business (agriculture), being fired is common thing. I do sympathize, I would be fine with no-tenure policies. I am confident enough in my abilities that I know I would be hired again every year. I'm a little skeptical that he is envious though, as the pay (at least in my discipline) is nothing to be envious about.
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I think this is a great opportunity for your marriage. Turn it all around to work in your favor.
I did my best, we'll see how it all works.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
