Here is my question though. How can you ever trust again? How does that work? Little by little, I hear of the Routerville suggestion of it is a decision.
I love that girl unconditionally, she is my world. BUT, I know I deserve the best in life, I deserve to have someone there supporting me while I support them. I'm scared, I can't figure out after everything that has happened how I can still want this. I'm floored by the number of similar comments from friends and family about W's past behavior's. If people from diffrent walks of life saw the same things and now relate those to me, how come I haven't seen them. For instance a friend heard through the rumor mill about it and emailed me, he and his W meet me and my W after we were married. We did a lot with them, went away on weekends, camping, dinners. He said in his email that him and his W could never figure out why I was always groveling to get out of trouble when W was mad at me, and he said for things that normally a H wouldn't be in trouble for. I had an uncle say the same thing.
I guess I have to leave behind that R if I want a M with W. Fix those problems and move on. Who knows, I'm just confused on how to trust her again. I guess it is one day at a time, and even if I left and found someone else who can guarantee that they wouldn't do the same. Thats love, a calculated gamble of sorts.
Good thing is I'm not really down, life is going really well. The resigned Monday and it didn't go so well. Then yesterday I was told to name my price to stay. Unfortunetly, I told them I made my decision, I would still work for them on the side if they wanted me to, but I needed to move on. I feel bad making my old place of employment the LBS, haha.
Chin up everyone it is Wednesday, get your Fantasy Football teams picked and look forward to the weekend.
