Your words make a lot of sense to me. I do see a major difference in being vulnerable and being weak, as you have defined them here. I unfortunately have a lot of experience being weak, and being weak does lead to unproductive power plays in an attempt to at least gain an illusion of strength. And since the illusion crumbles easily, more power plays are often needed to keep building up the false edifice, until something happens (my A for example) to shatter it all down. Unfortunately, I have been weak not just in my R with my W, but also with ths ILs. And a pattern of weakness makes being vulnerable difficult. So I'm kinda stuck in this pattern of feeling weak and vulnerable, but needing to be strong to destroy a historical perspective that has built up in the minds of my W and ILs.
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and it's not enough to simply understand how attraction works. You must gain objectivity, acceptance and empathy if you want to have a functional sexual relationship
And that acceptance must include acceptance of your own POV and boundaries or else the lack of self-respect will destroy the R. This is what I have the hardest time with. I can see other's POV, I have a hard time holding on to my own. But at the same time, lack of self-respect and holding to your own boundaries can lead to resentment of other's POV, as a defense mechanism. In other words, instead of fighting to keep my boundary secure, I get pissed off when others hop over my low walls.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
