P.S. I don't know if you read the post I made on my thread discussing an issue xH and I were having last week... I was not 'happy' during that... debate?... and it was quite a struggle for me. My emotions were running amok. But at least this time, I KNEW it, and my goal was to work back TO that 'happy' state... so I could solve the problem, and not let my emotions create another one.
Was he causing those emotions in me? Well, he was certainly part of the equation, and we humans are not completely independent of one another... was it his intent to cause those specific emotions? I doubt it. Even if it was, he doesn't have that much power. They are MY emotions. I identify them, I label them, I associate them... and I choose how much power to give them... or not. In that way, yeah, I am somewhat independent of him...
I'm doing this with my bf, I CAN do it with my xH, and it is something I am practicing with everyone in my life because it is how **I** want to be. Not saying anyone else SHOULD be this way.
It seems to me that you don't think you have the same ability to do this with your wife. If you don't want to, or don't agree with it, that's cool. I was just trying to explain to you a method I've learned and have been implementing recently that has made a huge different in my life... that MIGHT work for you... that's all. It doesn't really have to do with whether I'm married or not.
So, sorry if I sounded judgmental in any of my posts here to you.
