Sounds like you have a great attitude! keep doing what you are doing!

I have just one more word of encouragement/advice:

Quote:

Agree. This is the difficult one though. Her idea of intimacy is talking and quality time. Hard to get these under these circumstances. We went to dinner twice over the last couple of weeks. Talked the whole time. Great dinner and great company. I had a wonderful time. After the fact she tells me that I was doing all of the talking and that she wasn't really engaged in the conversation....

It just occurred to me that this is just the alien talk. I think she really did enjoy herself, she just got defensive when I reflected on how good of a time we had.


I dont think you should "write off" what she said.
to me, that sounds like, you were doing basically the right thing, but you could have done better: you missed opportunities to listen to her more.Next time, be more aware/sensitive to letting her do more talking.

PS: probably a bad idea to do any verbal "reflecting on how good of a time you had". I think that will just encourages a "no it wasnt" attitude from her, as you already observed.
BUT.. if you had asked her instead, "how was the evening for you" or something like that... I think that she might still have responded in the "I didnt get to talk" way. Remember: most men/woman books try to remind men, that women like to talk, and "be heard". So, be sure to listen! \:\)

Sounds like you're doing pretty durn well though. kudos to you \:\)

My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D.
Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M.
3 wonderful sons caught in the middle