I may still be fooling myself, but in reality I guess it still is not a deal breaker for me yet. Just a big setback. I am just going to go and do what I have been and still be her friend and let the chips fall however they do in the future. While telling me this she did not say she was going for the D as she has said in the past. I still will not go file myself, thought about it last night but it is not what I want so I won't.
So confused but will continue to better myself and keep looking within. I need to keep the focus on myself and kids, life will get good.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
Would I be completely anti-DBing if changed our car insurance, cell phones and such. I have been paying them since we separated and she has not coughed up a penny as she says she will each time the bill comes in. Also have discovered she is bleeding my checking account dry and I went to the bank, I can either leave alone or I have to close my account, I cannot just take her name off, she has promised in the past to stop taking money, but still continues.
I don't want this separation or divorce, but at some point I need to start protecting myself from her and financial ruin, I am afraid if I do this I am just pushing it farther along but I have to be able to live for myself and kids, at the rate she is going I will be homeless by the end of the year.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
It sounds like she may have done that so she wouldn't have to pay it... I would switch it over and close the account. At this point, it sounds like she may just be using you for financial security.
The end of this year?! Close the account. I am shocked at not just yours, but a lot of these wives, who act as if the husband is their father, not their chosen mate and sexual companion. I can understand that accidently she fell for some other guy, but if that is over, and now there is a new OM then she is living off you and out there looking. No. This isn't college with Dad at home footing the bill, and the hot young coed shacking up behind his back. This is supposed to marriage. Real life. I say it's time for a talk and to stop being her sugar daddy.
I closed the checking account, changed our insurance to individual accounts and the only other thing we have together is the cell phone, I left that alone, it is the only phones either of us have. So as not to appear extremely rude, I told her what I had done in a nice and civil manner, basically let her know that I had to take care of my best interests and that of our son mainly where the money was involved. I loved her response, she told me thank you for changing the checking account as it was to easy to go and spend money on a whim and not worry about it. She said she knew it was wrong but to tempting to spend money that was not hers and did not affect her living money.
789=doormat no more
Last edited by 789; 08/29/0703:52 AM.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
GOOD for you. And she was actually nice about it. She knew it was wrong, but couldn't resist temptation. I give her credit for saying it. Well, how does it feel to not be a doormat?
Actually good, I have just been so afraid to do anything to make our situation worse so instead of using my brain I only used my feelings. Just one more step in detaching I suppose.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
God, I told you to start dating! You could have said, "Well, I met someone too , actually a few people, and we have been talking every night. These women understand me. I just wanted to let you know too." But ya had to go and be the great, loyal, good guy. Listen, keep DBing. Sometimes we wives get desperate and try to see if the grass is greener then the guy sees we truly belong to our H and kids and the bail. Leaving the poor spouse to pick up the pieces and be our caretakers. God, that sucks! OK think positive. How can we make this a positive? Oh, I just know he is gonna dump her and she is going to feel even more sad. What is she doing!
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
I plan to finally open my own bank acct this weekend. our credit cards have always been separate, but we've had a joint bank acct. I'm going to keep operating off of the joint one, but will have the other for when things really hit the fan here.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
