The Road to Reconciliation ... a bit of a survey

[JMC]

How long were you together? - 13 yrs
How long have you been separated? - 6.5 months

Do you understand what happened to cause the separation? - somewhat, I believe she is in MLC (PA with man in serious relationship, EA w/married man in another state, sex w/guy she met while on a girls weekend and then sends nude photos to him over internet...ILYBNILWY comments, empty nest syndrome after D went to college, etc.), also financial strain due to high credit card balances.

What do you think your partner thinks of you (now, then)? - now - I really wonder, probably would tell people I am a great guy but she is not in love w/me; then - I didn't do this or that, but I am a nice guy..

How does your partner behave towards you now? - we used to be intimate on a weekly basis after bomb dropped until we sold house in late June, but now talk infrequently, but when we do she always suggests lunch, dinner or drinks..I say 'ok, call me', but she has not set anything up.

Are you able to understand your partners actions? - not really

Do you seen any glimmer of hope for your R coming from your partner? - not really

If so, how long did it take before hope appeared (following separation)? - n/a

What do you think caused that change in your partner? - mlc stemming from childhood.

How regularly do you have *any* type of contact with your partner? once every 10-14 days (I miss her terribly)

How often do you see your partner? - it has been over a month

Is that often enough? - no, as I would want a reconcilliation.

Have you gone through a 'dating period'? - no

Was that positive? - n/a

Are you able to discuss your R at all or is that too dangerous? - have in the past upon occassion to no avail, have not done so in over 2 months.

What do you do with your free time? - workout, read, try to get together w/D and friends - I find it a difficult world being single and 45.

How do you handle the feeling of being lonely, assuming you do feel that way? - I do not like it...still cry several x a week..try to quickly talk myself out of it and do something I like - watch or play sports.

What do you think about your partner (now, then)? - I have lost some respect..at one time I considered her to be the most impressive person I had ever met.

Do you still want to reconcile? - yes