One, go find a family-friendly counselor. You wouldn't think that would be hard but we had a guy completely screw us over in January - I'd say he set us back 6 months and definitely contributed to our separation. If we had been going to the guy I've been seeing 100% we wouldn't have separated, or if we had, we both would have agreed to it (wouldn't have happened).
May I ask how the counselor set you back? What things did he do or didn't do that damaged your relationship? Would you consider him a pro-marriage counselor? Thanks.
He claimed to be pro-marriage but he was completely disinterested in us. He did not listen to what we needed, he was solely focused on pushing his agenda down our throats. My wife desperately wanted to talk to him about her feelings and really vent, and probably rip me a new hole and he wouldn't let her. So she sat there quiet, didn't participate, and didn't do the homework. I tried to take in what I could but we essentially paid $300 (3 sessions) for some copies of discourses by people we could read about on the internet for free. So, after 3 sessions when we weren't progressing at the pace we felt we should be, he cut us loose. Didn't recommend a replacement and never followed up or anything. The guy I've been seeing for the last 4 months lets me talk about whatever I want and fits that to the professional help he can provide, it is so comfortable. My wife had been with me a couple of times but just won't commit to going back. I keep hoping she'll go with me some more, it would really help. Hope that answers your question.
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
