In this country, you have to be S for 12 months before applying for a D. For me, that was 4 months ago.
Brief background H45 W44 (WAW) D17 S13 M23 LS done 16 months ago No affairs Have no contact since the S
All that's left is to print out the D form, fill it out, attach the marriage certificate, attached the LS, mail it into the courts, they'll get back to you with a hearing date, attend that and it's basically all over.
Anyways, being the LBS, the WAW took off her rings, arranged all the legals amicably, we sold our property and we each own our own houses. Arrangements with the kids work well, they seem to be doing well, getting good grades, socializing and generally well balanced. I never see or contact WAW and neither does she.
Time to apply for the D is 5 months overdue and I'm thinking about doing it myself. However, none of this was my idea so why should I.
I see this sometimes on here. WAS's happy to remain legally M but carry on with a completely separated life and never look like pursuing a D.
Why don't they finish what they started?
God Bless, Suit
"It's better to have no spouse than have a bad spouse"
Depending on why they walk away (MLC vs WAS), I think there is alot of confusion and or depression and they don't follow through b/c of that. Then again...I don't really know. How do you feel about all of this? Do you want to finish it up or let the sleeping dog lie? What do you think would happen if you did contact her or do yu even want to (as opposed to being afraid to)?
I actually think the answer to this is quite simple. They don't have to.
Quote:
Time to apply for the D is 5 months overdue and I'm thinking about doing it myself. However, none of this was my idea so why should I.
I agree with the notion put forth, but would ask why are you thinking about doing it yourself. Do you want this marriage to be saved? If you do, then you have to ask the question of your wife. If you don't want it to be saved, just do it.
Nope. The M is finished in both my heart and in my mind. All that's left now is the legality...i.e WAW can contest my will if I drop dead from reading another of your posts.
I'll Nike the D when I can better understand why WAS's don't finish what they started?
Sure they don't have to but I doubt it's the sole reason.
God Bless, Suit
"It's better to have no spouse than have a bad spouse"
If they wanted out so bad, wanted you out of their lives then why not finish the process?
Oh My God....this is a million dollar question if I ever saw one! I wanna know why also. Why do they leave us to pick up their trash. Remove it, box it, clean it, FIX IT then sale it. Ok...so I'm speaking of the house.....but thats only 1 teeny tiny drop in this big ole bucket.
Imp......you said because they can????? What kind of person who has any friggen brain cells left in their head just walk away....la te da...mmmmmmm, that rose smells good doop de dooo....ooops, is that another demand letter from credit card company....la de da....isn't that bird pretty.....ooops...., a forclosure notice.... skippity do da day.......Grrrr.
Oh......just ask.....OK, I'll bite I'll call him right now...yes, this very minute and ask him.....
Please stay tuned for the HONEST TRUTHFUL ANSWER!
***SPARKLES***
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
Nope. The M is finished in both my heart and in my mind. All that's left now is the legality...i.e WAW can contest my will if I drop dead from reading another of your posts.
I'll Nike the D when I can better understand why WAS's don't finish what they started?
Sure they don't have to but I doubt it's the sole reason.
God Bless, Suit
A WAW might not put the final nail in the coffin simply because she doesn't have to. She got everything she wanted and remaining legally married simply carries no burden that makes her feel a sense of urgency to file.
A few women I know have WAH who see no need to "put the final nail in the coffin" either. But hey, if you want something done, you have to do it yourself.
I think that is the best answer you will get for you. It's the only way you will know why it has happened in your sitch. Everyone's sitch and reasons are different.
My mom was a WAS. She had been verbally abused and berated by my father for years. He was an alcoholic. She was worried he was going to start physically harming my sister and I. She moved out with us in order to survive. 35yrs later mt parents are still married. They now live next to one another. Go figure.
My sister and I still don't understand it.
Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
doop de dooo....ooops, is that another demand letter from credit card company....la de da....isn't that bird pretty.....ooops...., a forclosure notice.... skippity do da day.......Grrrr.
I'll call him right now...yes, this very minute and ask him.....